Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Stolen Kisses
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.25.2000
In the dining room at Leery's, Shelly continues to flirt with Henry. Jen watches for a moment, and then marches over and snaps, "All right, Shelly, that's it -- get your boobs away from him! This is my boyfriend that you're fawning all over, and I don't appreciate it." Shelly asks, "Why didn't you tell me?" (Yeah -- duh, Jen, like we couldn't all see where this was leading HALF an HOUR ago. Well, at least I could: As Undramatic Non-Irony, it's my job.) Jen says that it's because she has "issues," and then yammers on about how Henry is special and she's been waiting for "one like him" and doesn't plan to "give him up up without a fight." She also throws in phrases like "slutty wench" and "throw down," and finally says to Henry, "Happy now? I'm jealous," before storming out. Way to cause a scene at your place of employment, Jen. I'm sure all those patrons will be happy to have you as a hostess the next time they're in the mood for fishcakes.
Joey walks outside to Pacey's chair. She asks if he's okay, and he says, "Not so much, no." She asks what's wrong, and he says, "Well, it's the history. It's killing me. How can a guy compete when you two have your own karaoke routine." Exasperated, Joey yips, "You're not supposed to compete. We're supposed to have our own hist--" She stops herself. He gazes at her. "I didn't mean that," she says, and he asks what she did mean, and she says she doesn't know anymore.
Pacey tells her that the "little arrangement" they have "sucks -- it sucks up one side and down the other. It's uncomfortable, it's weird, and I hate every minute of it." She asks why, if he hates it so much, he came at all, and he tells her that for a smart girl, she "can be pretty daft sometimes; I came here to be with you!" She knits her brow as he goes on, "When you like somebody, proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you" -- she looks down -- "or don't, as the case may be," he concludes, brushing past her. She turns around and says, "But I felt it." "What?" he asks. "This morning," she explains, "your arm brushed up against me in bed, and...I felt it." "How did it feel?" Pacey asks. "Engorged!" Wing would yell, if Dawson's musical vomit hadn't driven her to her own grim death. "It made me feel alive," Joey admits. Pacey sighs. She rubs her head. He says, "Okay. I'm going to kiss you now." "You can't!" she protests, but he replies, moving slowly toward her, "Jo, you can't say something like that to me and expect me not to kiss you, so that's exactly what I want to do. I'm going to kiss you in about ten seconds, and if you don't want me to --" By now he's very near, and concludes, "Well, if you don't want me to, I guess you're just going to have to stop me." He goes in, and lays one on her, and she totally kisses him back -- and despite Joey's being infused with the energy of my brother-in-law -- Unromantic Non-Intensity -- it's actually a pretty good kiss until they're both pulled up short by the sound of someone clearing his or her throat behind Pacey. They break apart and see that Aunt Gwen standing there. They both look ashamed, as if the kiss had anything at all to do with Aunt Gwen. Pacey mutters, "I think maybe I should head inside and sing myself some more karaoke. Because lord knows that's what I want to be doing right now, is singing myself some karaoke." Aunt Gwen judges that a "splendid idea." Joey slouches. Aunt Gwen says, "Well, at least now I understand why you and Dawson aren't together." Joey bites her chapped lip and says, "I know you just saw that, and I can explain --" but Aunt Gwen THANK GOD says, "What I just saw is none of my business," and then spoils it by adding, "but I think you should tell Dawson." Joey shakes her head and says, "It was just a mistake." Aunt Gwen says, "Something tells me that when you kiss a boy, it is not a mistake." Joey looks increasingly distressed, and Aunt Gwen goes on: "You should know I am the last person on earth who is going to judge you, but you cannot be reckless with someone else's feelings. What if that had been Dawson that had seen you and not me? Do you think he would ever be able to erase that from his mind?" Aunt Gwen turns on her heel and crunches the gravel back to the house. Gee, thanks for the great advice, husband-leaving crap-painter. Are you sure you aren't actually Henry Parker's Aunt Nosy?