Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Speak Now and Forever, Forget the Peace
By Pamie | Season 2 | Episode 22 | Aired on May 20, 2002
Rory's checking the decorations for the wedding in the Gilmore living room. Lorelai stomps downstairs, complaining about how tired she is. Rory asks where the almonds for Table Five went off to. Lorelai huffs that she doesn't know. Rory says the bundle was there last night, but now it's gone, and she found some tulle on the staircase leading up to Lorelai's bedroom. Rory says it took her six hours to make those almond bundles. She even calls Lorelai "Mother" so we know she's serious. Lorelai tells Rory to try to beat that next time. Rory asks why Lorelai was so late at Sookie's last night. Lorelai says she stayed late to help clean up. She decides to boast and beam about Christopher's breakup, but not before warning Rory that gossip is cruel and you shouldn't do it: "Unless it's true, or if it's way too good."
The phone rings. It's Paris, practicing her loser's speech. It's fashioned after Hubert Humphrey's. She says she knows she's going to lose to someone with a "boffo senior ditch day" plan. Rory asks Paris where she is. Paris says she's at the auditorium, which is empty, so she can be there for one last meet-and-greet for the student body. Rory tells Paris to get out of that room, because it's pathetic, and Paris will look like a loser. I want one of those Paris/Rory buttons. Paris says she knows she's going to lose: "Because even if I win, I only won because of you. Therefore, I lose." Poor Paris. Rory tells her to get a cup of coffee and go relax. Paris sighs and says Hubert Humphrey must not have been considered very fun, either.
Rory gets off the phone and tells Lorelai that Paris wants to win very badly. She adds that she feels bad since she doesn't want to win as much. Lorelai tells Rory that she knows she wants to win so she can spend the entire summer far away from Lorelai. Well, that is a plus. Rory says that the thought of Washington gives her a stomachache. Lorelai says that Washington sounds like fun. Rory says that the two of them will go there someday, then, and tells Lorelai to get back to the gossip. Lorelai gloats about Christopher's misfortune. Why would Rory be happy to hear that her dad's relationship is on the rocks again, just after all this crap about her having to be friends with Sherri even when she didn't want to? Poor Rory. I can't wait until she gets to go to college and have normal relationships. Rory is disappointed that her mother is gloating about this. Lorelai says she isn't gloating. Rory shows Lorelai how she's smiling. Lorelai says she's having tiny strokes. This show with the strokes. Lorelai says that Christopher's not sad about it, so Lorelai can't be either. Rory tells Lorelai that she's going to Hell. Lorelai notes that her feet won't get cold as she digs into her pajama pocket and pulls out a Jordan almond. As she pops it into her mouth and giggles fiendishly, Rory chastises her for stealing and lying. Lorelai says she got the almond from Santa Claus. I'm really bored with this episode. Other people's problems. Other people's lives. Nothing happening here and now.