Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Speak Now and Forever, Forget the Peace
By Pamie | Season 2 | Episode 22 | Aired on May 20, 2002
Christopher finds Lorelai. She kisses him and says they're starting the wedding any minute, and has he seen Rory? Oh, man. Right. The wedding. What everyone cares about. Christopher says he's got to go home right away. Lorelai asks why. He says he has to take care of something. He's all, "I'll call you later, thanks for the sex, have a good summer, bye!" Lorelai asks what's going on and why he's leaving. Christopher says that Sherri's back, and he has to go home. Lorelai's all, "Oh, so you can dump her. I understand." She thinks he wants to dump the girl immediately so that their sex isn't nearly as horribly sinful. But no. See, Sherri's pregnant, as Christopher can only impregnate the Worst Choice. And this time, he doesn't want to miss out on a kid growing up like he did with Rory, so instead he'll just disappoint Lorelai and Rory again, since they're used to it, and lie to Sherri pretending he loves her and the kid just so they don't have to know the truth, which is that he's a good-for-nothing loser who bumps around to the most spread-open legs and vulnerable heart at the time until there's something else he feels is more "ethical." What a dick. He's going to stay with Sherri just because she's pregnant? That's a solid family foundation. And thanks for sending out the blimp of "Lorelai + Chris 4 Eva" only to shoot it down thirty minutes later. Can't even last until the next meal. I don't care, since this just keeps happening and it's not like this built up or anything. Talk about wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Lorelai says that women all over the world will be happy to see tiny Sherri all fat. Everyone's such a peach. Oh, whatever. Christopher's whining that he waited years for this moment where it was the three of them -- Lorelai, Rory, and him -- together forever, happy and harmonious, and now this blasted child and this harlot woman have trapped him into this Bostonian home and Volvo that he never wanted. Lorelai makes him shut up, since she's about to be the maid of honor at a ceremony attended by mostly strangers. She says she's having trouble standing so she'd like him to go. He apologizes. "Oh, yeah, me too," she says. "Tell Rory?" Christopher asks. Asshole! "I will," Lorelai says. Story of their lives, Part II. Five minutes after he says he won't let Rory down this time, he's high-tailing it out of there to his real family? Cut the jag-off out for good, y'all. Lorelai makes him turn back around. "Congratulations," she says. "Thanks," Christopher whines.