Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | 55 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Lis-Bon Voyage
By M. Giant | Season 23 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.13.2013
Tim & Danny reach the mat in fourth place, and are glad to have worked their way up in the rankings. Leo & Jamal get to the Tiles Detour, and also regret not coming here first. "Yeah, don't listen to the blonde girl," Ashley says without looking up from her tiles. "Listen to me next time." The Afghanimals settle down to work while the blondes keep capitalizing on the head start they've got on their race-husbands.
Brandon & Adam are team number five, dead center in the pack. Then Tim & Marie show up at the Tiles Detour, and after some semi-tense greetings between them and the other two teams present, Marie picks out a puzzle that has the fewest small pieces. The blondes are already done, though the tile master makes them work for their clue a bit. "Bye-bye, hubbies!" they chirp on their way out. Not bye-bye forever, alas.Tim & Marie are on their hands and knees over the tiles, and she asks Tim, "Are you productively doing anything right now, or…?" Tim makes a weak attempt at an answer, but we all know it would be an exercise in futility. Leo & Jamal decide to try to psych them out, and lie that they've been working on this for two hours, and that the blondes where there three hours before them. Alas, Marie doesn't believe that for a second, and says as much to Tim. Jamal explains after the leg that the two teams don't like each other, so they were trying to trick the exes into using their Express Pass. This is a valid if rather optimistic strategy regardless of whether teams like each other.
And it's soon moot, because the Afghanimals finish up, get their clue, and carry the poor tile master around the room a bit before leaving for the Roadblock. Jamal tries to play it like it's the clue to the Pit Stop and calls out, "Bye, guys! Good luck!" Marie: "They're jerks." And whether the exes use their Express Pass or not, they already have two disadvantages. One is that they're trying to assemble their tiles on the near-vertical surface of the cutout rather than laying them out on the floor first. And the other is that Marie is impossible to work with. So tiles are falling and breaking, and they're getting pissy with each other as usual, and they're actually starting to talk seriously about using the Express Pass. If the Afghanimals actually succeed in manipulating them into pissing it away like most teams do, I might be willing to forgive them…something. I'll get back to you on what.
After the ads, Tim is voting to use the Express Pass, but Marie's not ready, and in the event of a tie the tie-breaking vote is hers. So back to the task at hand, at which she first asks why Tim isn't doing anything and then shoos him away. After the leg, she interviews how they know when a task is more in her wheelhouse, "And I'm sure there will be times coming up on the race where it's all him and I'm just gonna step back…" Tim does a double take at the obvious implication that he's done nothing so far, and tells her to hold on. "I'm trying not to make you look like a bitch," she says. Uh, she's not trying very hard. She goes on: "Like, I don't think that that's gonna happen, actually, but when people watch this at home I would like them to think that I don't think you're that terrible of a partner." I don't think she would like it that much. I now have two possible sentences to go here. One is, "Hard to believe these two kids couldn't make it work," and the other is, "Their hate-sex must be glorious." Just pick your favorite. Eventually, they (or rather Marie) get it done and receive their clue to the Roadblock. "Hopefully there's somebody still behind us," Marie says. There is, but she has no way of knowing that.
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