Episode Report Card Demian: F | 214 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Soul Soporific
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 2003.11.02
Back from the break, Phoebe applies an ice pack to Piper's bruised back while bitching in passing about the disappearance of both Big Gay Chris and the Dolt. Meanwhile, Raige stupidly intends to carry on with her asinine "Save Dead Larry" plan. How does she intend to do this? By finding Keith's vault of contracts and destroying them, thereby freeing Dead Larry along with all of the other souls Keith's ensnared in the past. Piper and Phoebe, needless to say, disagree, and announce their intention to destroy Keith before he absorbs any more power, and to Hell -- literally -- with Dead Larry and the other unfortunates. Raige flatly refuses to "sacrifice" her innocent. Piper sighs in frustration and tells her, "We don't have a choice. This is beyond your control. I'm sorry." Raige storms out in a wordless fit.
Castle Montanague. Raige enters to find Slampiece Buttfuck in the study. He rises with a warm smile to greet her, but shifts to concern when he reads her expression. Raige wearily admits that things aren't going so well. Scene.
Pointless Subplot Number Three. The Dolt and Big Gay Chris stumble across the portal, and after a bit of tedious business with the big, scary, menacing computer animation, leap through it. They tumble out the other side to find themselves surrounded by Confederate soldiers. In San Francisco. What the fuck ever.
Castle Montanague. Raige and Slampiece Buttfuck flirt shamelessly with each other as Raige sort of reveals her plan to save Dead Larry. She needs Buttfuck to "get [her] sisters when it's time." "I'm gonna need their help," she explains, "but they can't know about it until it's too late to stop me." "Won't they be pissed?" Buttfuck asks. "Probably," Raige admits before smiling, "Got any candles?" Buttfuck grins.
Manor attic. Piper lights a circle of her own candles on the floor. She and Phoebe intend to summon Keith, give him one chance to surrender Dead Larry's soul, and vanquish him with some super-fabulous potions they've whipped up in the last three minutes. The gals clasp hands, and Piper recites the following:
We call upon the ancient powers
To summon one to save a soul.
Down in Hell, or wherever, Keith schmoozes with his clients until a swirling cloud of glowing golf balls assails him and sucks him upwards. Dead Larry rolls his eyes. I am so with you, corpse man.
Back in the attic, Keith materializes briefly at the center of the room before the swirling cloud of glowing golf balls attacks once more to escort him elsewhere. Piper and the Feebs are all, "Fucking Raige."