Episode Report Card Aaron: C | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Death: The High Cost of Living
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 06.09.2001
House of Stiffs. The family returns to find Federico unpacking a dead body in the driveway. They banter about who is going to restore who, and Federico is worried about a Mrs. Huffington (and would that it were Arianna, but that's a different story), who has a 3:00 viewing but is still majorly jaundiced. There's some mortician-speak about cranking up the pink spotlights versus airbrushing the body, and all it does is serve to illustrate that Federico is a man who cares about his work. Finally, David asks Nate to pick up a fresh body at a local nursing home, because Nate's the only one who isn't busy. Claire and her Lean Green Corpse Machine, however, have been hemmed into the driveway by this conversation, and she finally honks her horn at them before screeching past. David runs inside, and Federico offers to go with Nate to pick up the body. Uh, I thought the whole point of Nate's going was that Federico was busy? Oh wait, that's right. Crappy contrived writing. Never mind.
In the van, Nate and Federico are chatting about what The Late Nate might have been thinking when he left half the business to The Live Nate. Federico suggests that the old man might have been upset with David, but also seems a little sad that he wasn't included as well.
Cut to Claire's school, where she walks out to find Gabriel (the crackhead boyfriend) chatting it up with a couple of girls. He follows her to her car and they flirt a bit, which mostly consists of Claire's whining that everyone treats her differently now. Gabriel proceeds to demonstrate a previously unseen softer side. "You know, you're different now," he tells her. "You can see through walls." I don't even know what that means. Did her father's death give her superpowers? Am I watching The Greatest American Hero (which, by the way, was the greatest show ever)? Claire doesn't seem to get it either, and asks, "Don't your skanks need to be walked?" Heh, again.
House of Stiffs. Mom is futzing about in the garden when Matthew Gilardi (the annoyingly coiffed funeral-home-chain representative) approaches her. She leads him inside, and he reiterates his offer to sell. He's just as smarmy as always, explaining that Kroehner Service International is "a family of death care facilities." I knew I didn't like this guy. I can't respect anyone who uses the phrase "death care" without irony. Or, in fact, at all. He insists that she look at the numbers, especially the stock options. Sars suggested the same thing when I signed up at MBTV, and now my 401(K) features a six-figure balance. I'm just saying. Anyway, Mom looks pensive as he leaves.