Episode Report Card Aaron: C | 5 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Death: The High Cost of Living
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 06.09.2001
Cut to the Corpse Machine; Claire and Gabriel are toking up in the front seat. Claire complains some more about the college thing, and Gabriel suddenly goes all guidance counselor and reiterates my whole "no student loans to pay off" thing. "And by the way," she tells him, "that shit you gave me the night my father died really fucked me up." Gabriel apologizes, and Claire continues whining that she'd like to decide what she wants to do with her life "before someone reprograms [her]." Gabriel tries to top his crappy pickup line from last week thus: "Nobody could reprogram you. You're the most original girl in school. Look at this car you drive. This face you drive." "This face you drive"? Is that even a compliment? Claire is buying it, though, and he continues, "You know how much guts it takes to be somebody like you?" before moving in for the kiss.
Back to the flashback from last week. Dad offers Nate Jr. the gloves to touch the body, and then little Davey enters with his naked doll. After Nate Jr. runs off in fear, Dad encourages Davey to put his doll on the gurney, just like the corpse. "Yeah, you're okay, David," he says, and I once again realize that Nathaniel Sr. was a lot nicer when he was alive. I guess his post-death appearances are supposed to reflect how the characters themselves perceive him, and not how he actually was. Cut back to David, preparing the body of Warren Beatty (or as he'll now be known, Worm Baitey). Nate comes down and tells him that Mom wants to talk to them.
Upstairs, Ma informs her boys that she's going on a hike with Hiram, her previously mentioned partner in infidelity. Nate thinks it's cool, but David freaks out. Yeah, there's a surprise. David wants her to stay so that she can meet with Mrs. Baitey, but Mom just says, "It's Fisher & Sons," and walks out, leaving the boys to look astonished. After a moment, David slumps into a chair at the kitchen table and gripes about how busy he is, especially because he has to beg the cemetery for a plot to bury Mr. and Mrs. Suarez next to each other, instead of on "opposite sides of the freeway." Nate, actually sounding sincere, asks whether there's anything he can do to help. "Can you tell Adele ["Mrs. Baitey"] Swanson that we know she's broke and can't afford the funeral she's ordered? Can you do that?" Nate decides that he probably can, and David lays out the situation. "The Swansons are con artists," he says, handing over a file, "and they're not going to con us, too. I made some notes in case you're not familiar with credit reports." Nate reminds David that he deals with big, national vendors as part of his bag boy job, and David seems genuinely touched that Nate's taking an interest. Aww. I do have something snarky to say here, but in the immortal words of one Billy Joel, I think I'll just "leave a tender moment alone."