Episode Report Card Sars: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Discovery
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 02.09.1998
Did anyone see Return To Paradise? Nope, didn't think so.
Capeside's twee downtown. Joey suggests anniversary gifts for the Leerys, announcing to a skeptical Dawson, "Your parents are white, middle-aged suburbanites. They live for folk art." Dawson complains about their constant PDA and remarks, "It's sad, I'm actually jealous of my parents' sex life." As they wander through what looks like a department store, Joey fishes for information: "What do you mean -- Blondie isn't giving you any? I thought by now you would have, uh." She wiggles her eyebrows. Dawson: "You're a real romantic, aren't you, Joey?" Joey advises "off[ing] the wicked grandma" in order to make more progress in that area. Just then, Dawson spots his mother in the menswear section, buttoning a sportcoat onto her co-anchor, The Notorious B.O.B., with an all-too-proprietary air. When Dawson and Joey walk up to her, she greets them with nervous enthusiasm and begins babbling; Joey gives her a tight smile as Dawson tells her they've come to do some shopping. Gail introduces Bob to the kids, and as Bob trots out a feeble excuse for their presence in the store -- "while viewers like me, they hate my sportcoats" -- Joey glares at Gail. Bob says it's nice to meet Dawson finally, and that he'd like to see Dawson's film whenever it's finished, "being a bit of an indie fan myself." Gack. Gail looks uncomfortable and says they have to get going. She kisses Dawson and says goodbye to Joey. Joey says nothing as Gail and her terminal frizzies leave the store. Dawson comments that he thought Bob "was a real tool" when he first saw him on the air, but now that he's met Bob in person, he doesn't seem so bad. He asks for Joey's opinion, and she shrugs, "I think you had it right the first time."
Jen, dressed rather ironically in pink top, clomps into the kitchen. Grams asks dryly, "Dare I ask?" Jen immediately starts throwing Grams attitude and doing that weird shifting-from-foot-to-foot thing she does when she gets angry: "Your worst fears are founded, Grams, I'm going to see Dawson. And you know, maybe I'm just asking for it right now, but I would rather that you say whatever it is you're thinking than continue to look at me the way you are right now." Grams says that Dawson "only wants one thing" from Jen; Jen disagrees, characterizing Dawson as "sweet and honest and romantic." Grams then refers to Joey's habit of climbing in and out of Dawson's window, which in all fairness doesn't have much to do with Dawson per se, and Jen tells Grams that Joey and Dawson "are just friends," and some sexual tension might exist between them "but that's as far as it goes." Yeah, Jen. Keep telling yourself that. Jen goes on to say that, as far as she and Dawson go, Grams saw "the entire highlight reel" when she spotted them kissing. Grams asks if Jen has "certain feelings for" Dawson, and Jen says yes, she does. Grams sighs, "Nothing can be done about that," and hopes aloud that Jen can avoid making the mistakes they both know girls Jen's age often make. Jen naturally gets defensive, grumbling, "You always find a way to get that last dig in, don't you?" Grams calls her on it: "Everything I say isn't meant as criticism." Jen, with a sarcastic smile: "Oh, I know. Some of it is meant as judgment." Good comeback, if rather inappropriate, and she walks out as Grams's mouth drops open again, presumably in disbelief that such an uppity little brat is actually related to her.