Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B+ | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Hodor!
By Monty Ashley | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 05.08.2011
Now that the instructor's gone, most of the anti-Samwell sentiment has dissipated. He tries to make friends by telling everyone that his mother calls him Sam, but that's not as much fun to type. However, it is four letters shorter, which counts for a lot. You'll notice I call Lord Stark "Ned" more often than "Eddard." However, having a three-letter name is not enough to endear him to hardened rapers and pickpockets like this, who would like to know why he didn't get up and fight. He can't really explain himself, except to say, "I'm a coward." That shuts 'em up! Except that now one of them is worried that people saw him talking to a coward, so they'll think that he, too, is a coward. I don't think that's how it works.
Dothraki ride horses, as usual. Their path takes them under an arch that looks like two horses. The message here is that Dothraki really like horses. Other ways the show has tried to convey this message include "always starting Dothraki scenes by showing them on horses" and "having one character straight-up tell another that Dothraki really like horses." The arch is also there because that's the entry to Vaes Dothraki, the mighty Dothraki city that the credit map's been showing us for three episodes. Viserys, naturally, is a whiny little baby about the city, which he considers a big pile of mud populated by stupid savages. Daenerys does not agree with him, which isn't that surprising. What is surprising is that she tells him so, calling the Dothraki "my people," meaning that she's one of them. Viserys also calls them "my people," but he means that they're people that he bought. It's a pretty good line, even if it does come out of Viserys. Viserys snits off, and Daenerys asks Jorah how likely a Dothraki invasion of Westeros actually is. One of the main problems is that the Dothraki fear water, of which there's a large expanse between them and the place they'd be invading. They'd do well in an open battle, which King Robert is probably dumb enough to allow. But unfortunately for the plan, King Robert has advisors who aren't that dumb. Jorah seems sad that Ned Stark wants his head, although he admits that he did sell those slaves. Oh, and his expensive wife is in another place with another man. Generally, Jorah's not enjoying his life, which is understandable.
Viserys, however, seems to be enjoying things a bit more. This is because he's having a bath in his tent, and he gets to have a naked lady in there with him to sponge him off. I guess there are worse ways to live in exile. She makes some bathtime conversation with him, asking if he, "The Last Dragon," has actual dragon blood in his veins. He allows as how he might. He has some stories about dragons, and how brave men rode them instead of killing them. And the breath of one of them forged the iron throne, which doesn't sound entirely feasible. I mean, would you just lean the swords against each other and then ask the dragon to breathe on it? I think welding a chair together requires more than just a giant, fire-breathing lizard. The bath lady says she's always wanted to see a dragon, because they can fly. And "kill anyone or anything that tries to hurt them get burned away." While she says this, she rummages around below the waterline to get a good grip on Viserys. Viserys, even when he's relatively pleased, can't help but be a jerk, so his idea of empathizing is "After fifteen years in a pleasure house, I imagine just seeing the sky makes you happy." That leads her to reminisce about the non-dragon things she's seen, which includes a pirate that wore his weight in gold. That doesn't sound like a good idea to me, what with the inevitable sinking. Maybe only wear your weight in gold when you're not on water. Viserys has seen dragon skulls, which used to decorate the Red Keep. He had to memorize all their names, which actually kind of sounds like fun. The dragon skulls started out small and stunted, but they got bigger and bigger as you got closer to the throne. That sounds like quite a thing to see. It's a shame King Robert didn't keep them around so we could see them. But according to Viserys, he probably smashed them up. The bath-lady comments that that's sad, and Viserys suddenly realizes that it is sad. And he doesn't like being sad, so he shouts at the bath-lady about it: "What did I buy you for? To make me sad?" "No, your Grace. To teach your sister." "You think I bought you to make Khal Drogo happy?" No, to make Viserys happy. So he sits back with a scowl and tells her to get on with making him happy. She does what she can.