Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B+ | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Hodor!
By Monty Ashley | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 05.08.2011
Jaime Lannister is guarding the door outside the king's bedchamber. I don't know that they call it a "bedchamber" on this show; I'm just assuming they want to use a word with more syllables than "bedroom." Lord Stark's man asks for entry, but Jaime points out all the laughter and squealing coming from inside. Would Stark's man like to guess how many ladies are in there? Jaime explains that the king likes to make Jaime listen while he insults his sister. He's pretty stiff and snooty, but he loosens up a bit when the guy reminds him that they fought side-by-side at the Siege of Pyke. One of the Greyjoys nearly took his eye! They reminisce about this one guy running around with a burning sword. Jaime says that he saw the youngest Greyjoy (Theon, remember?) at Winterfell, and it was "like seeing a shark on a mountaintop." He does not think Theon's a good lad. More ladies come out of the bedroom and we hear the king claiming that someone smells like blackberry jam. That's a weird thing for a person to smell like, in my opinion. Stark's man asks if he can leave a scroll with Jaime to give to the king, but Jaime will not be taking messages from Lord Stark. Indeed, he snaps, "I don't serve Lord Stark!" So either he really hates Lord Stark or he's just in a bad mood because of all the ladies King Robert is sexing up. Or he's just kind of a jerk. That's also a possibility.
Jon Snow has finished his watch duty and enters the Wall's mess hall. Samwell isn't there, which is convenient for the plot, because Jon needs to take advantage of the leadership position his fighting skills have given him among the recruits. That's quite a sentence! I will admit that I believe that as long as a sentence can be properly diagrammed, it will automatically be both grammatical and understandable. That's a weird thing to rely on, since nobody diagrams sentences anymore. Not like they used to, anyway. Anyway, I hope I've distracted you from the complexity of that one sentence. You've probably forgotten that it even happened, which is good for me. But that means you've also forgotten the content, so I may have to start all over. Here's my point: Snow tells the other recruits that Sam's no worse than them, because he has nowhere else to go. "He's our brother now and we're going to protect him." Most of them seem okay with that, but one jerk at another table turns around and says, "You girls can do as you please. But if Thorne puts me up against Lady Piggy, I'm gonna slice me off a side of bacon." I like how they're calling Sam "Lady Piggy" because it simultaneously insults his manhood and his weight. It saves time to double up on insults like that. I also promise to try to remember that the instructor is called "Thorne." I hope to learn the jerk's name at some point.