Episode Report Card Jessica: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything Put Together Falls Apart
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
The Movie That Nobody Loved. Natasha and Tag dance, seventies-style. It's just...horrible. Really, really horrible and awful. Natasha is a terrible dancer. Finally, the scene ends with a juicy kiss. "That was hot, guys, loved it!" Todd lies before turning to Dawson and saying that Natasha and Tag have good chemistry. Dawson wanly agrees. Still miked, but apparently unaware of that, Natasha and Tag talk on set as the crew runs around and...does stuff. She calls the last take "killer." Natasha is a moron. Tag agrees that they were "totally in the moment." Dawson closes his eyes in pain, and I don't think it's because the dialogue is so clunky. Tag tells Natasha that "[her] boyfriend" doesn't look very happy about her kissing him. Natasha twitters that she totally doesn't have a boyfriend. "What about that guy in your trailer?" Tag asks. "Dawson? God no! He's a PA," she squeals. Over in his little director's chair, Dawson looks perturbed. Todd gives him a sympathetic look and comes over to gently ask Dawson to fetch him some java. The Sad Piano Of Holy Crap, I Don't Give A Shit plays softly in the background as Dawson flares his nostrils like a filly in heat.
Joey shows up at Flip-Flops's house. Suddenly, it's dark. Has she been crying over her little mishap all day? Oh, wait: I don't care. Flip-Flops opens the door. "Oh, goody. I was hoping it was you," he tells her flatly. Joey wails that she really needs to talk to him. "Yeah, I know. I was made aware of your situation from the twenty-seven messages you left on my office voicemail," Flip-Flops says. Joey speeds that she studied really hard for his test and she just lost track of time and she's really made a lot of progress in his class and blah blah blah she needs a retest. "No," Flip-Flops says. So Joey yelps some more about oversleeping and being disoriented and how she wasn't even in her own room and please, please, please please please? "Look, it is your responsibility to get to the test on time," Flip-Flops finally tells her, like, thank God, and also, no duh. He explains that because she didn't even complete the first question, she got an F on the exam, making her final grade a big fat D. Which makes me wonder how good her grade in the class was anyway. I guess Miss Potter was getting a B! The HORROR! "You see, it's not so bad. You still pass. Good night, Potter," Flip-Flops says, and tries to shut the door. Joey puts out her hand and whines that no matter how he feels about her, he can't be "this vindictive." He's not BEING vindictive. YOU SCREWED UP, you self-involved little twit. If he let you retake the test, that would be him being nice. Everyone else in your class got there on time. And it's not like you were puking your guts out. This is college. You're an adult. Don't whine about how this is all about Flip-Flops having it in for you. You missed your final! You deserve an F! God, I hate Joey more than Dawson now! Argh! Anyway. Flip-Flops tells her that this isn't about vindictiveness. He applies the same standards to all his students. "It's nothing personal. But it's a tough break, kid. I feel for you," he says, and shuts the door. So Joey's face all crumbles, and she sits on his stoop and bursts into tears. I might have some sympathy for Joey if I liked her at all. But her sense of entitlement really came through in that scene, and it didn't make me feel sorry for her. It made me want to smack her across the mouth.