Episode Report Card Jessica: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything Put Together Falls Apart
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey ties on her apron and looks sad. Behind the bar, Oliver slides her a cool beverage. He tells her that he's sure everything will work out okay. "[Flip-Flops] will come around," he says sympathetically. Joey shrugs that she already tried to talk to him. "Surprisingly, he doesn't care," she says, sliding onto a bar stool and announcing that she's going to lose her scholarship. "It's over," she says glumly. Oliver dries his hands with a towel and tells her not to "get melodramatic" on him. Joey's eyes bug out of her face. "MELODRAMATIC?" she squeals. Oliver looks around as if searching for a rescue team to get him out of this, then tells her that she's being "very worst-case scenario" about the whole thing. Joey wonders shrilly what possibly could be worse than "getting kicked out of college." DUDE. You will not get kicked out of college for one D. I got a D my first quarter at UCLA -- for a chemistry class I totally shouldn't have been in, as it was way too advanced for me -- and not only did I not get kicked out of school, I ended up graduating on time and with an excellent GPA, if I do say so myself. I don't even think that Joey will lose her scholarship, because it's more likely that she'll be put on academic probation and have a semester to pull up her GPA. And if she does lose her scholarship, well, you know, she could always get a loan, like three-quarters of the people in college today. It's not that I don't get why she's freaking out. Believe me, I spent a lot of time in college with my head in a book. I worked my ass off. I was academically obsessed. You know, when I wasn't getting wasted. (What can I say? I was good at balancing my priorities back then.) But Joey is being slightly irrational. Of course, I hate her, so I'm sure if she was freaking out over having, like, a tumor or something, I'd find some way to spin her reaction so that she's, you know, totally stupid and wrong.
Anyway. Where was I? Ah, yes. Oliver tells Joey that "now [she's] escalating to being kicked out!" Joey sputters something inarticulate. "You just take all this stuff way too seriously," Oliver says. Well, that's a bit unfair. While, as I said, I think Joey is being irrational -- and I think she totally did this to herself -- no one likes to get a D. Wow, see how I turned on a dime, there? Joey yelps that Oliver doesn't take ANYTHING seriously. "I take the things that matter seriously," he says. Joey retorts that Worthington matters to her, since it's a ride out of being the girl from the wrong side of the tracks of the creek! Or something. I mean, you know the drill. So then Joey goes on this whole long rant about how she doesn't know anything about him and he doesn't know anything about her and blah blah blah blah doesn't she ever get tired of being such a basket case all the time? I mean, doesn't it tire her out to maintain such righteous anger on such a consistent basis? Oliver snips that she's certainly pretty good at "assuming things" about him. And Joey shoots back that maybe she shouldn't have slept with him at all! She never should have broken her pattern! "Everything new I try just seems to backfire!" she spits. Oliver patiently points out that that's how people grow -- they learn from their mistakes. I can't believe it, but Oliver Hudson can really sell this dialogue. He's good. Oliver calmly tells Joey that he's sorry she missed her test, but he doesn't want them having sex to be a mistake to her. "But I guess it was," he adds. She looks at him silently. He raises his brows and walks to the other end of the bar. Sigh.