Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Shimmer Like A Girl Should
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.30.2011
Dad: "Can I talk to my daughter? Unless you're planning on puking some more, you drunk asshole."
Emily: "I'll meet you guys at the church."
Hanna: "Do you need a ride?"
Emily: "No, I'm taking some random car with haunted GPS and a meshuga talking doll in the back."
Dad: "Look, sorry you were under so much pressure last night that you reverted to classic Hanna behavior. Perhaps you could reassure me in some way."
The Seat Of Hanna's Pants: "DON'T GET MARRIED! MOMMY LOVES YOU!"
Dad: "Well, okay. Strike that idea. How about you don't embarrass me."
Hanna: "We will see!"
Dad: "Also, you know that your mom broke up with me, right? Here's the thing. Your mother is vastly more intelligent than any other adult on this show, even Ella I'm sorry to say, and she was right when she said I was just trying to get back with you guys because I was wussing out."
Hanna: "It is okay to wuss out. My therapist taught me that when I talked to a ghost."
Dad: "No, let's let your mom drive on this one. The fact is that I am way into self-sabotage."
Hanna: "I am familiar with that concept."
CONFESSIONS OF A TRUCKBABY
Then comes a thing I don't even want to talk about. It is horrible. Spencer breaks up with Toby and all his objections are valid, as far as he knows, but she can't tell him the truth -- that the brakeline was step one in a two-step plan to murder him -- so she abruptly jets out into the streets like a wild animal, and then collapses against a tree, sobbing, and it's just so awful. You gotta watch it through your fingers is how bad.
Wren: "Oh, hits a jolly 'oliday wif Mary, hits a jolly 'oliday wif... Wot's this, a blubbrin' teenager? I say, you there! Get into my lorry, there's a chap!"
THE BASICALLY FUNCTIONING MONTGOMERYS
Ella: "You look beautiful! And you'll be happy to know that your brother is taking to the talking cure like a first-year teacher to his nubile young students."
Aria: "That's a relief. Sorry you got abused."
Ella: "I'm just sorry that I didn't take his illness seriously enough and then tried to cover it up and then asked you to lie about it. I feel about this big right now."
Aria: "You are not a bad mother, you are a great mother. Shit happens. Sometimes the right thing is the super fucked up thing and you just have to hate yourself for awhile. I get it. We're good."
Ella: Just this wordless sorrow. Ugh, I love her so much.
Ding-dong.
Aria: "You just take a bath and drink Ashley Marin amounts of wine, I'll get the door. Surely nothing terrible can happen so close to all the other horrible things that are happening all around us this morning, to everybody."