Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Shimmer Like A Girl Should
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.30.2011
Jackie: "Hey, bitch!"
Aria: "I will sic my mom on you so fast. Did you see what she did to Paige's dad? She doesn't fight unless provoked, but she will cut you."
Jackie, verbatim: "Scary, isn't it? Playing with fire?"
Aria: "You talk like Alison. Or Kate."
Jackie: "I just discovered the logical flaw in your plan to get Ezra to yourself..."
Aria: "-- Which I already have, loser. You lose."
Jackie: "Not when I tell everybody that he was holding hands with you at To Kill A Mockingbird Academy, you won't."
Aria, who by the way stands her ground fantastically this whole time: "But then the townspeople will chase him into the cranberry bog. How do you win in that scenario?"
Jackie: "It is worth it just to watch you squirm. Plus, I'll pick up the pieces and we'll go somewhere they don't know or care about his flagrant abuse of power and pedophilia. I hear the Cathol..."
Aria: "This isn't over! But I have to go to a wedding -- and, incidentally, try to find the chopped-up pieces of my therapist -- right now, so fuck off."
Jackie: "Okay. I will just be generally menacing until you can clear your schedule. But then I will be all over you. Cute dress!"
Aria: "I know, right?"
GLOBAL POSITIONING SATAN
GPS Lady: "Don't go to the church, go to this other place."
Emily: "No, GPS Lady, I have to go to the church. It is going to be a fucking trainwreck."
GPS Lady: "Don't go to the church, go to this other place."
Emily: "Technology always gets you! If it's not the GPS, it's the nannycams or the hacked phones or mysterious graveyard movie screenings or haunted fashion shows or..."
GPS Lady: "Don't go to the church, go to this other place."
Emily: "In almost every episode of this show, there's eventually somebody lurking in my backseat. I really hope that's not what's... GAH! Why did I stop drinking?"
Emily Doll, All Pain Cream & Anxiety: "I'm taking you to her! Go alone!"
EXT STATION
Cops: "On the record, yes, it was an anonymous tip that led authorities to the suspects, but that's all I can give you right now."
Throngs of Rosewood Paparazzi:: "But what were they even doing? Was there some kind of corpse or something? Why are they all covered in dirt and looking fantastic in there?"
Cops: "Don't you know how a framing device works? Watch the fucking episode."