Episode Report Card Joe R: A- | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Bill Sussman
By Joe R | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2007.09.10
Botwins'. Silas comes home with another envelope stuffed with cash and a head even more stuffed with thoughts of his own awesomeness. He's even going by the name "Judah" on the streets, which Nancy either genuinely thinks is sweet or is too tired and/or crazed to object to. Shane shows up and asks them for help with his little murder mystery assignment -- he thought he had a handle in this case of a girl who went missing after prom and whose blood was found in an alley, but the latest clue their class got says the girl showed up to school next week. Shane is confused. Silas suggests "WWVMD." The huh? "What would Vic Mackey do!" Shane exclaims. Okay, somebody has a little crush on The Shield, Jenji Kohan. Shane says Vic would plant some evidence and then beat a confession out of someone. But what's Shane going to do? Shane lowers his voice and says, "Drink myself into a stupor and then sleep with my prostitute-slash-informant." Nancy: "No more cable for you." Man, I don't think we've gotten a scene like this with the Botwins since Season 1: absolutely sweet and more than a little fucked up if you think about it for more than five seconds. That's what we watch this show for.
Speaking of fucked up, Andy and Dean (acting as his lawyer) are meeting with the Army general and his lawyer in Doug's office. The general isn't entirely pleased with the situation he's found himself in, as evidenced by the sheer number of times he instructs Andy and/or Dean to "Go suck yourself!" Army Attorney has a document for Andy to sign saying that he didn't see anyone get killed, and probably that he has no memory of a Private Rodriguez at all. General Suck Yourself tells Andy that they were going to send that phone out into the field strapped to a mule, but then they figured why waste a perfectly good mule. Hey! I bet if Nancy ever needed him to be, Andy would make a perfectly good mule himself. Army Attorney points out the Lithuanian window washer outside who is erasing Doug's hard drive with his squeegee (Doug: "Aw!") and the janitor out in the hallway who is also a planted soldier. They've got Andy surrounded and the implication is that no one's getting out of Doug's office if the phone isn't returned and the document sign. To make the point even clearer, General Suck Yourself grabs a healthy handful of Andy's nutsack and squeezes until Andy gets Doug to hand over the phone. After he does, Army Attorney tells Andy he never set foot on an army base and the only Rodriguez he's to know "plays for the Yankees and thinks he's better than Greg Nettles." Uh, not the best summer to get on the bash-A-Rod train, Weeds, considering he's probably hitting another home run as I type this but WHATEVER, HATERS! "Suck yourself!" screams General Suck Yourself. Indeed.