Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Die already
By Alex Richmond | Season 7 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.18.2003
CamPound. Knock knock! It's a hooker! Xtina "thought" she "left," but as it turns out, she's back. She "like[s] life!" And pizza with the Camdens sounds just ducky. Personally, I'd rather turn tricks.
Chandler plants a wet one on Roxanne. Ew. She says she notices that he brought his suitcase in. He says he didn't want to leave it in the back seat of her convertible. Heh -- he said "back seat." More kissing. Slurp, smack. He says he "can't wait anymore." She's all, snuh? He says, "Let's do what we've wanted to do since the moment we laid eyes on each other." She looks surprised. He says, "You haven't changed your mind?" Oh, ew.
Lucy puts away her laundry, and Eric tries to hustle her along to come on down to the pool hall. And isn't it great that Mary's there, too! Whatever. She runs off with her laundry, and Eric goes to answer the door.
At the door are Lou, a.k.a. Some Parishioner Guy, and Some Detective Friend of the CamFam. They really need to talk to Eric, inside. Eric says he'd love to, but he has to meet his family down at the pool hall. Some Parishioner Guy and Some Detective Friend of the CamFam look at each other, then at Eric, then at each other again, and say they really need to talk to him -- inside. What, is his whole family DEAD or something? And LUCY survived? Oh, the inhumanity! I mean, the death part in this episode has yet to appear, and it's right in the title. I bet it's Simon. Or Mary! I'm rooting for Kevin.
Lucy checks her early pregnancy test. Her face is blank. The piano, moody. And…the end. The end, y'all!