Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Die already
By Alex Richmond | Season 7 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.18.2003
Kevin enters the yard, and Lucy exits. She's avoiding him. Because she thinks she's pregnant. Zzz.
Oh, hee hee hee! Xtina (who, I neglected to mention last week, is winningly played by Tara Lipinski, who has a gold medal for ice skating, y'all) is WEARING A TOWEL while standing in the hall, talking to Simon. Her dialogue? Beautiful stuff. "You're taking me to prom; surely there's SOMETHING I can do for you?" Oh, MY! She means blowjobs, right? Or maybe sex? Boy, talk about not knowing the level of the room. Cecilia huffs in, and Xtina is all, oh, hellew! Surely you know Simon's taking me to prom? Cecilia knows, and says if Xtina "knew what [she] was thinking, [Xtina] would be running right now." Hee hee hee! That's like that joke -- if women knew what men were thinking, they would never stop slapping them. Xtina says Simon merely took "pity" on her, and if Cecilia has a "problem" with Simon taking her to prom, she won't go. Simon is all, "Devil in blue jeans!" I mean, he says, "Yeah!" Cecilia says she doesn't have a problem with prom, but with YOU, Xtina, and the way she stands there in a towel and TALKS to her BOYFRIEND! I mean, the act of STANDING THERE is SACRED to some people! Xtina says she's "just waiting for the bathroom! Busy household!" Then explain the lack of robe, missy! Xtina channels the poor girl inside her and says, "I don't have a lot of things." Whoa, I think someone's been polishing a gold medal and dreaming it was an Emmy! SamVid walk up and say, "What awe we do-wing?" Wow, these boys? Screaming out for help, y'all. They ask why Xtina doesn't have a "wobe." Cecilia smiles evilly and says that's a "good question." Hey, she JUST SAID she didn't have a lot of things, you jealous bitch!
Ruthie exits the bathroom. She makes no comment on the fact that there are like five people standing right there. SamVid ask her to "pway," and she turns them down. Wouldn't it be great if Ruthie got her period and turned punk rock? I'd love that. Instead she looks at everyone and asks if she can "have a little privacy." In the hall? You were just in the bathroom -- how much privacy do you need? Simon and SamVid say, "In this house?" Xtina hops in there. And Cecilia says to Simon, "You wanna go? Go." Simon, total idiot, says, "Okay."
Ruthie tells her mom she's "going out. I'm going out to walk Happy, okay? I don't wanna talk, I just wanna walk the dog?" Heh. After watching the season finale and then the pilot of Dawson's Creek, the phrase "walking the dog" has a new, hilarious meaning for me. ["Blasphemer." -- Sars] And Xtina said she was a dog walker for money! Hee. Anyway. The phone rings (drink!) and it's Sarah's mom, played by Larraine Newman. She was on SNL back in the day, and recently guest-starred on Curb Your Enthusiasm. She's hilarious, and WHY does this show get such great guest stars? I do not get it. Anyway, what did Annie want? "Nothing. Nothing officially." Oy.