Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT His Leading Lady
By Sars | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.02.1999
On the lawn of the No-Fault Hacienda, Dawson instructs his actors, Devon and Chris "Teen" Wolf, as Jen comes onto the "set." Jen has to read the part of Kim -- the character based on her -- since Abby "is late again" (read: not enough money in the episode budget to pay Monica Keena). After Dawson says "and -- action!" and Sars rolls her eyes so hard she pulls a muscle, they begin reading a scene from last season, in which Dawson/Wade invites Jen/Kim over for video night and Joey/Sammy gets all pissy and possessive. Joey appears from behind a tree and stops to listen. Chris delivers the line "the more the merrier," and Dawson stops the scene, saying, "The way you're saying it now, it sounds like you're trying to get them into a menage a trois." Gee, go figure. Dawson explains that Wade only thinks of Sammy as a friend. Anyhow, Joey walks towards the set, but stops as Chris asks, "But Dawson, it's obvious that Sammy's into me -- what, am I just supposed to ignore that?" Dawson explains, "You're not ignoring it, you're just, you're not aware of it yet." Chris obviously doesn't get it, and Dawson mutters to Jen, "That's what I get for casting a jock -- he's got the insight of a warthog." "Warthog"? Jen tells Dawson to "ease up a little," and then Dawson notices Joey standing there and says, "Joey!" and Devon gets up from her seat eagerly.
Dawson makes the introductions, and Joey recognizes Devon from the Icehouse the day before. Devon explains, "I was studying you! It's just Dawson told me that my character was based on you, so," and Dawson adds, "You recognize Devon from art class," and Joey says that "the clothes threw [her] at first." Heh, Joey doesn't look happy, but naturally Dawson doesn't notice and tells Devon she "can study [Joey's] mannerisms." Then Devon peppers Joey with "Method approach" blah blah blah "character insights" blah blah blah "couple dozen questions I want to ask you" blah blah blah fishcakes. "A few dozen questions?" Joey repeats. Devon tells Joey, while stroking her chin in a really weird Norma Desmond-esque way, "Well, I think that Sammy and Wade are soulmates who will be forever connected by an overpowering transcendent love. What do you think?" Instead of saying, "I think they already cast the part of Winona Ryder," or "I think you should sue whoever gave you that haircut," or "I think the rest of the Keebler elves left without you," Joey just makes an "ucchhh" sound and fidgets and doesn't respond.
Um, maybe a PSA telling kids not to have sex would fit into "Seventh Heaven" programming, but in the middle of "Dawson's Creek"? And maybe you shouldn't follow that ad with thirty seconds of the Victoria's Secret models writhing around with their boobs pressed together in that oh-so-chaste Loni-Anderson-butt-chest look. Just a thought.