Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT His Leading Lady
By Sars | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.02.1999
Bring me the head of Paula Cole.
Joey's art class at Capeside Community College. Students sketch a nude while the teacher, who looks like a cross between Papa John Phillips and a ferret, drones on about "trying to evoke a feeling that you have for the subject" and "if you see the world in triangles, then go with it," and he pauses to compliment Joey on her "excellent work." Get a job, Papa John.
Dawson barges in uninvited, stands between Joey and the figure model, and says, "Joey, hey," and Joey hisses, "Dawson, what are you doing here?" Dawson tells her that he had to "do some research in the college library" and that he wants to give her the latest draft of The Creek Chronicles or As The World Turns Around Me or whatever he has taken to calling his magnum dopus. As Joey continues to splutter, a nipple pierces the fog of Dawson's self-absorption, and he astutely observes of the model, "She's, she's naked," and Joey tells him to "get out," and Papa John and his worse-than-Dawson's hair stroll over and also tell Dawson to get out, and Dawson blanches and gets out, but not before -- of course! -- almost knocking over an easel. The model, Rachael Leigh "Not All That By A Long Shot" Cook, smirks. Papa John smirks. Joey closes her mortified eyes. Like, ha ha. Not.
Over at McPhee Manor, Pacey "Awww" Witter and Andie "Fresh Goes Better" McPhee discuss butts. No, seriously. Pacey philosophizes on humankind's "obsession with the posterior" while inspecting his bum in the mirror; meanwhile, in the bathroom, Andie takes her pill. More witty banter about dumpers. Pacey goes into the lav to throw out a Kleenex and sees the empty pill bottle in the trash can, and he fishes it out to have a look. The bottle says "take twice daily as directed" on the side and "Zanac 20mg" at the bottom. No wonder Andie has problems; her shrink gave her the wrong drug for her problem, with the wrong usage instructions, at the wrong dosage. Anyway, Pacey furrows his brow but doesn't say anything.
In the CCC library, Dawson browses the stacks. Through a gap in a neighboring shelf, the now-clothed-but-still-nappy-haired-and-irritatingly-elfin model inquires, "See anything you like?" Dawson turns around, stares at her, recognizes her, and stammers, "Oh my god. You're the," and she finishes, "Model." She introduces herself as Devon. Memo to Kevin Williamson: enough already with the girls that have boys' names. We get it. Dawson introduces himself and stutters, "You must think I'm a total perv." "Perv"? Devon says something about "deviant" blah blah blah "my Psych professor" blah blah blah "latent desire" blah blah blah "the need for someone to watch you, watching" blah blah blah fishcakes. Dawson tells her she has it wrong, and she shrugs, "Well, Psych's not my major anyway," and starts to walk away, but Dawson asks her, "How do you do that? I mean, model naked. It's gotta be uncomfortable." Devon says she's a drama major, so she looks at it "as an acting exercise," and also that "the money doesn't suck." Dawson views this exchange as an invitation to talk about himself, so he mentions his movie, and Devon says she "didn't know they had a film school here," and Dawson admits that he's still in high school. Devon says condescendingly, "Oh, and you're trying to make your first film. That's cute, good luck," and walks away again. Heh.
Annoyed that anyone would dare question his status as Capeside's leading auteur, Dawson pointedly corrects her: "It's my second film, actually. My first film won the junior division of the Boston Film Festival, and they gave me the funds to make my second effort." Instead of rolling her eyes and saying, "Well, excuuuuuuse me," Devon expresses surprise and remarks, "Impressive." Dawson tells her that, actually, he still hasn't cast one of the leads, and he invites Devon to read for it, saying that he understands her skepticism but that he'd love to hear what she thinks. Devon smirks, "Careful, Dawson -- stronger men have been crushed by what I think." Dawson makes a "whatever" face. Wow -- a character more baselessly self-confident and snotty than Dawson. And they said it couldn't be done. Oh, and shut up, Devon.