Thanks to KR, Pooh, Wing, and the whole DW Forums crew.
Fade up on the Sanctum Dawsonorum. Joey "O'Keeffe" Potter and Dawson "Chocolicious" Leery sit on the bed as the end theme of a movie plays; Dawson clicks off the sound and asks, "So. What do you think?" Joey says, "That was a director's cut, right? I mean, it seemed a lot bloodier," and Dawson says, "No, I meant with you and me. We did it." Joey sips her diet Coke and says, "Did what?" Dawson answers, "First official Movie Night post-breakup. I'd say it went rather well." Joey congratulates him and says she should probably go, and Dawson makes where-are-you-going-it's-still-early noises and tells her he has some pictures to show her, and as he shuffles through a stack of photos, Joey furrows her brow and says, "You're really okay with all this." Dawson: "What, you and me?" Joey: "Yeah." Dawson: "Yeah. I'm, I'm just so happy that we're finally past all that relationship trauma." Joey looks faintly disappointed but says, "Good. Me too." Dawson says heartily, "Great! So, the big dilemma, now that you're officially helping me with the movie, is who do we cast as Sammy," and as he sorts through a thick stack of résumés (whatever) with headshots attached (whatever), he goes on, "Joey, you're a, huh, you're a distinct, unattainable original." Joey sits on the bed and suggests that Dawson not base the role of Sammy quite so closely on her: "Why don't you look for an actress who can bring their [sic] own unique interpretation to the role?" Then, discomfited by the fact that Dawson hasn't mooned over her or made a jealous comment about Jack yet, she says, "I'm kind of, I'm amazed at how together you are about us." Um, Joey? If you don't want to get over yourself, fine, but at least let Dawson get over you. Dawson tells her that he's learned to let go because she let him go, and as Joey's fake smile fades, he confesses that he found it hard at first, but since she's moved on and gotten together with Jack, he "in turn let go of" Joey. Joey clearly doesn't like the sound of that, but she twists up her lips and nods before saying, "Yeah, well, since we're letting go of each other, I should -- I really should go, yeah, 'cause I'm really tired, and you obviously have a lot to do, so," giving Dawson every opportunity to stop her, but he just says brightly, "See you tomorrow, Joey," and she puts on her coat and wishes him good night, but he still doesn't stop her, and she waits for another moment for him to keep her from leaving, but Dawson keeps looking at headshots (whatever), and Joey leaves reluctantly.
Bring me the head of Paula Cole.
Joey's art class at Capeside Community College. Students sketch a nude while the teacher, who looks like a cross between Papa John Phillips and a ferret, drones on about "trying to evoke a feeling that you have for the subject" and "if you see the world in triangles, then go with it," and he pauses to compliment Joey on her "excellent work." Get a job, Papa John.
Dawson barges in uninvited, stands between Joey and the figure model, and says, "Joey, hey," and Joey hisses, "Dawson, what are you doing here?" Dawson tells her that he had to "do some research in the college library" and that he wants to give her the latest draft of The Creek Chronicles or As The World Turns Around Me or whatever he has taken to calling his magnum dopus. As Joey continues to splutter, a nipple pierces the fog of Dawson's self-absorption, and he astutely observes of the model, "She's, she's naked," and Joey tells him to "get out," and Papa John and his worse-than-Dawson's hair stroll over and also tell Dawson to get out, and Dawson blanches and gets out, but not before -- of course! -- almost knocking over an easel. The model, Rachael Leigh "Not All That By A Long Shot" Cook, smirks. Papa John smirks. Joey closes her mortified eyes. Like, ha ha. Not.
Over at McPhee Manor, Pacey "Awww" Witter and Andie "Fresh Goes Better" McPhee discuss butts. No, seriously. Pacey philosophizes on humankind's "obsession with the posterior" while inspecting his bum in the mirror; meanwhile, in the bathroom, Andie takes her pill. More witty banter about dumpers. Pacey goes into the lav to throw out a Kleenex and sees the empty pill bottle in the trash can, and he fishes it out to have a look. The bottle says "take twice daily as directed" on the side and "Zanac 20mg" at the bottom. No wonder Andie has problems; her shrink gave her the wrong drug for her problem, with the wrong usage instructions, at the wrong dosage. Anyway, Pacey furrows his brow but doesn't say anything.
In the CCC library, Dawson browses the stacks. Through a gap in a neighboring shelf, the now-clothed-but-still-nappy-haired-and-irritatingly-elfin model inquires, "See anything you like?" Dawson turns around, stares at her, recognizes her, and stammers, "Oh my god. You're the," and she finishes, "Model." She introduces herself as Devon. Memo to Kevin Williamson: enough already with the girls that have boys' names. We get it. Dawson introduces himself and stutters, "You must think I'm a total perv." "Perv"? Devon says something about "deviant" blah blah blah "my Psych professor" blah blah blah "latent desire" blah blah blah "the need for someone to watch you, watching" blah blah blah fishcakes. Dawson tells her she has it wrong, and she shrugs, "Well, Psych's not my major anyway," and starts to walk away, but Dawson asks her, "How do you do that? I mean, model naked. It's gotta be uncomfortable." Devon says she's a drama major, so she looks at it "as an acting exercise," and also that "the money doesn't suck." Dawson views this exchange as an invitation to talk about himself, so he mentions his movie, and Devon says she "didn't know they had a film school here," and Dawson admits that he's still in high school. Devon says condescendingly, "Oh, and you're trying to make your first film. That's cute, good luck," and walks away again. Heh.
Annoyed that anyone would dare question his status as Capeside's leading auteur, Dawson pointedly corrects her: "It's my second film, actually. My first film won the junior division of the Boston Film Festival, and they gave me the funds to make my second effort." Instead of rolling her eyes and saying, "Well, excuuuuuuse me," Devon expresses surprise and remarks, "Impressive." Dawson tells her that, actually, he still hasn't cast one of the leads, and he invites Devon to read for it, saying that he understands her skepticism but that he'd love to hear what she thinks. Devon smirks, "Careful, Dawson -- stronger men have been crushed by what I think." Dawson makes a "whatever" face. Wow -- a character more baselessly self-confident and snotty than Dawson. And they said it couldn't be done. Oh, and shut up, Devon.
In the kitchen of Chez Grams, Jen "Go Razorbacks" Lindley greets Grams with, "Ah, Grams, you're a godsend -- we are in desperate need of snacks for rehearsal." A boy walks in after Grams with a box of groceries; Grams introduces him as Tyson Hicks, but Tyson says, "Ty, actually -- it's great to meet you," and as they shake hands, Ty says that Grams told him about the movie. Jen says, "Yeah, yeah, um, we're just gearing up to start," and Grams interrupts, "Jennifer, Tyson has expressed an interest in helping out with the picture -- aren't you a little short-staffed?" Jen sort of smells a rat, but asks Tyson if he has any experience "working on a film set before" -- as if the average Capeside teenager has had the opportunity to build a curriculum vitae in this area. Tyson says he hasn't, but he has worked on "a bunch of theater productions, and I'm pretty good with my hands and a fast learner," so Jen says sure, they need the help. Tyson: "Great. Well, you can use me for anything." Jen, biting her lip: "Excellent." Sars: "Oh, crikey."
In the Sanctum Dawsonorum, Dawson and Pacey rehang dorky Spielberg posters while Dawson yet again dismisses Pacey's problems as unworthy of his concern: "So you found a bottle of presciption pills -- so what?" Dawson says that his parents' medicine cabinet looks like "a veritable pharmacy." Pacey protests, "Yeah, but this is Xanax, Dawson -- not exactly your typical Saturday night muscle relaxant. It's for severe anxiety." What exactly would qualify as a "Saturday night muscle relaxant," if I may ask? Then Pacey asks if Dawson has noticed Andie acting more "high-strung" lately, and Dawson snorts derisively, "No, I've been too busy watching her bounce off the walls." Like, in the name of all that is holy, shut up, Dawson. Pacey glares at him, and Dawson says, "Pacey, if you're worried, then why don't you just ask her about it?" Pacey doesn't want to stress Andie out any further, what with her family situation and all, and he figures that if she wants to talk about it with him, she will. On the other hand, Pacey continues, "It's also not really in my nature to just sit by while the girl suffers -- I mean, I want to help her, but," and Dawson says, "She's operating under a lot of stress, though, Pacey, the only thing you can really do is make sure the time that she spends with you is as stress-free as possible, you know? Help her have fun." Pacey sighs. Then they banter about the perversity of Dawson's decision to film his life story in his own bedroom. Yeah, like anything else goes on in there.
Outside the No-Fault Hacienda that evening, Dawson arranges furniture as Devon walks up the lawn. She tells him she read the script. Dawson asks her what she thought; he obviously expects the usual torrent of compliments, but Devon says that she "didn't love it." Dawson says, "Really," and fiddles with the props as Devon gets behind the wheel of the world's largest steamroller and flattens Dawson's ego: "I mean, all the angst, and the over-analyzing, and the hesitancy to act on anything -- I really had to search my psyche to call back my adolescence." Dawson mutters, "Yeah, two whole years ago." It pains me to say this in relation to a line uttered by Dawson, but -- word. Devon continues to turn the condescension tables on Dawson, saying, "Dawson, there is a vast difference between us," and Dawson sort of rolls his eyes as she goes on, "Anyway, the script's a little heavy-handed and overly verbose," and Dawson interrupts, "So what you're saying is you're not interested," but Devon says, "What I'm saying is that I managed to muddle through the twenty-dollar [sic] words and psychospeak [sic] and got to the core of the Sammy character." Dawson doesn't want to hear any more: "I think what I'm saying is I'm not interested. I'm, just, the more I think about it, you're just -- you're really just not right for the part. You're a little -- small." Devon asks nastily if he doesn't want to let her read because she "had an opinion," and informs him that if he can't "take a little constructive criticism, [he's] never gonna make it." "Constructive"? Anyway, she wishes him "good luck in high school -- I'm sorry I wasted my time," and starts to leave, but Dawson quickly apologizes for overreacting and asks her to audition. Devon takes a moment to get into character. Puke. Dawson prompts her with the line, "Sammy, if you could only see yourself through my eyes." Devon then delivers Joey's speech from last season's beauty contest episode, referring to "cosmetic enhancement and hairspray" and "it's just me, the same old Samantha" blah blah blah fishcakes. I believe the writers lifted the dialogue verbatim from that scene, and apparently Dawson has named his character in the script "Wade." "Wade"? Anyway, Dawson calls Devon's reading "perfect," and they smile at each other. I really wish they had found a more likable character to put Dawson in his place, but what can you do.
Oh, I can't wait to see "Message In A Bottle." Well, except for the "can't wait" part. And no, as a matter of fact, nobody said McDonald's.
Over at the Icehouse, Joey tells Jack "GWM" McPhee that she has to leave early because she told Dawson she would help with the shoot. Note to Joey: either put the hair UP, or leave the hair DOWN. Jack: "Okay -- do you think he'll have us working all day?" Joey: "'Us?'" Sars: "'Us?'" Apparently, Jen asked Jack to help out, and he got someone to cover his shifts. Joey asks how Dawson feels about this arrangement; Jack doesn't know. Joey makes a face like she just ate a bug and goes out to the outdoor tables (in Cape Cod. In the late fall. Whatever) to ask Devon if she can get her something to drink. Devon makes a big old pretentious Method-acting show of copying Joey's every word and gesture. Joey gets freaked out and makes Jack wait on Devon instead. Devon asks Jack to tell her everything he knows about Joey. Jack stares at Devon. Sars rings for a stewardess to dispose of her airsick bag.
Andie studies on her back porch; Pacey jogs up the steps. "How's it hangin', girl?" Pacey asks. Andie says she "can't concentrate" and "I've got a ton of homework." Pacey sighs and says he couldn't decide whether to confront her about this, but he just wants to "get it out in the open," and asks her, "Do you want to talk to me about the pill bottle I saw in your bathroom yesterday?" Andie looks dismayed, but recovers quickly with, "It's my mother's," and she gets up in order to avoid Pacey's eyes. Pacey says he doesn't mind if she doesn't want to talk about it, but he doesn't want her to lie to him. Andie stops writing, taps her pad with her pencil, and admits, "I started taking it right after Tim died -- helps even out my mood swings." Well, Xanax doesn't exactly do that, but whatever. Pacey asks why Andie felt she had to hide it from him; Andie says, "I don't know. I guess I was afraid I didn't know how you'd react, and, uh, but it doesn't matter now anyway, you know, my doctor's not gonna refill my prescription. She wants me to try therapy, but just thinking about that makes me even more stressed out, so," and she trails off. Pacey thinks "maybe therapy isn't such a bad idea," and I for one think all of Clan McPhee should get to the nearest family counselor post-haste, but Andie assures Pacey that she can take care of herself, and tells him not to look so worried: "I'm okay, okay?" Pacey looks frustrated: "But if you weren't okay, you'd tell me, right?" Andie says, "Yeah," and rubs his arm. Meredith Monroe did a very good job with "depressed but holding it together" in this scene, but I still think the writers should decide whether she suffers from anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder, and then learn something about it, before they continue with this plot-line.
On the lawn of the No-Fault Hacienda, Dawson instructs his actors, Devon and Chris "Teen" Wolf, as Jen comes onto the "set." Jen has to read the part of Kim -- the character based on her -- since Abby "is late again" (read: not enough money in the episode budget to pay Monica Keena). After Dawson says "and -- action!" and Sars rolls her eyes so hard she pulls a muscle, they begin reading a scene from last season, in which Dawson/Wade invites Jen/Kim over for video night and Joey/Sammy gets all pissy and possessive. Joey appears from behind a tree and stops to listen. Chris delivers the line "the more the merrier," and Dawson stops the scene, saying, "The way you're saying it now, it sounds like you're trying to get them into a menage a trois." Gee, go figure. Dawson explains that Wade only thinks of Sammy as a friend. Anyhow, Joey walks towards the set, but stops as Chris asks, "But Dawson, it's obvious that Sammy's into me -- what, am I just supposed to ignore that?" Dawson explains, "You're not ignoring it, you're just, you're not aware of it yet." Chris obviously doesn't get it, and Dawson mutters to Jen, "That's what I get for casting a jock -- he's got the insight of a warthog." "Warthog"? Jen tells Dawson to "ease up a little," and then Dawson notices Joey standing there and says, "Joey!" and Devon gets up from her seat eagerly.
Dawson makes the introductions, and Joey recognizes Devon from the Icehouse the day before. Devon explains, "I was studying you! It's just Dawson told me that my character was based on you, so," and Dawson adds, "You recognize Devon from art class," and Joey says that "the clothes threw [her] at first." Heh, Joey doesn't look happy, but naturally Dawson doesn't notice and tells Devon she "can study [Joey's] mannerisms." Then Devon peppers Joey with "Method approach" blah blah blah "character insights" blah blah blah "couple dozen questions I want to ask you" blah blah blah fishcakes. "A few dozen questions?" Joey repeats. Devon tells Joey, while stroking her chin in a really weird Norma Desmond-esque way, "Well, I think that Sammy and Wade are soulmates who will be forever connected by an overpowering transcendent love. What do you think?" Instead of saying, "I think they already cast the part of Winona Ryder," or "I think you should sue whoever gave you that haircut," or "I think the rest of the Keebler elves left without you," Joey just makes an "ucchhh" sound and fidgets and doesn't respond.
Um, maybe a PSA telling kids not to have sex would fit into "Seventh Heaven" programming, but in the middle of "Dawson's Creek"? And maybe you shouldn't follow that ad with thirty seconds of the Victoria's Secret models writhing around with their boobs pressed together in that oh-so-chaste Loni-Anderson-butt-chest look. Just a thought.
At Capeside High School, Devon and Chris re-enact a scene from earlier this season in which Dawson/Wade stomped away from Joey/Sammy; a little black frame around the edge of the picture indicates that actual filming has now begun. Does Dawson have permission to film on school grounds? And where did he get all those extras? As Devon does a bad imitation of Joey and Chris does a fairly creditable imitation of Dawson, the camera dollies along after them, only to tip over when either Tyson or Jack manages to get in the way. Dawson, neck festooned with a light meter, tells the actors to "take five," and Jen remarks that they should probably get at least one shot committed to film before they start taking breaks. James Van Der Beek runs his hands through his hair to indicate stress instead of actually, I don't know, acting or something. Tyson apologizes for the screw-up, but tells Jen, "With you standing nearby, I lose all ability to concentrate on the job at hand." Jen smiles flirtatiously and says, "Down, boy." Tyson doesn't quite know what to make of that, but I do -- go Jen.
Joey fixes herself a cup of coffee as Jack talks with his mouth full: "Joey -- this whole thing really bothers you, doesn't it? I mean, [your] life laid out for the world to see?" Joey, a little too quickly: "Please, it's a movie, why should it bother me?" Jack: "'Cause it's about you. I mean, if I was [sic] trying to get over somebody and get on with my life, I think the last thing that I would do is to make a movie about it -- somebody needs to tell Oliver Stone over there that this whole war is over." I find Oliver Stone pretentious, bombastic, and self-indulgent, which sounds a lot like a wunderkind we all know, so -- word. Joey promises Jack that Dawson has "clearly" gotten over her; Jack says he has proof to the contrary. Joey tells Jack not to think so much, and not to worry, "everything's going to be fine," and then she shrugs about ten times. Jack sort of smiles and says, "You're right. Just as long as you're over him, nothing else matters -- Dawson can do whatever he wants." For some reason, he does not add, "Because I'M GAY!" Joey puts her arms around him and they smooch, and Joey stares over Jack's shoulder into the distance.
The assistant cameraman clicks that little black-and-white-striped board thingie with "Creek Times" written on it to kick off a montage of film-shoot hijinks: dolly shots; Jack deafening himself with feedback on the sound system; Andie and Chris fussing at each other as Jen looks on; Joey sketching and catching Devon as she studies Joey from a limp-haired distance and makes notes; Dawson looking gravely directorial; Joey sneaking up on Jack and covering his eyes with her hands, then kissing him as Devon watches and someone tries in vain to fix Devon's hair; the board thingie clicking a bunch of times; Dawson yelling "Cut!" on a scene of Devon sketching, and Devon bounding up from her mark to tousle Dawson's hair and give him a hug while Joey broods. Yes, I do believe that we get it.
In the hallway, Tyson fiddles with some equipment. (Sidebar: no way would Dawson's budget cover any of this stuff -- the camera, the lights, the sound deck, the dolly, any of it -- even if he kept the half of the prize money that he said he would give to Joey, and even if everybody on set worked for free. The poser-y little light meter alone would have run him at least three hundred. NYU students make "low-budget" films for ten grand, and they can't afford equipment like that, and I doubt that Capeside High had high-end stuff for Dawson to borrow.) Jen walks over to the shot board and rearranges some Post-Its, and he leaps to his feet to greet her. She asks, "Being a good boy?" Tyson says, "Always," and she responds, "What a disappointment." Jen says she has a stiff neck, and Tyson starts massaging her neck and shoulders; Jen remarks, "Mmm, feels like you've got some experience at this," and Tyson jokes, "In being manipulated into a neck-rub, yeah," and they both laugh. Jen: "Maybe I can also manipulate you into coming out with me tonight. I mean, I think that once we get this scene done I'm really gonna need to loosen up." Tyson: "I think that can be arranged. Of course, there's one stipulation. ["Stipulation"?] You've gotta put yourself in my hands." Jen: "Well, they are good hands." She smiles invitingly and walks out, and Tyson watches her go and makes an "I'm the man" face. Note to writers: that scene would have played a lot more effectively if Jen and Tyson didn't have the chemistry of stale bread.
Dawson, Chris, and Devon walk down the front steps. Chris says, "Dawson, all I'm saying is I don't think my character would play it hurt," and Devon whines, "And where is my anger coming from? I'm really confused," and the camera pans across a bunch of reflectors and dolly tracks and -- yes, Virginia -- two director's chairs with "Wade" and "Sammy" written on them. Note to writers: just because you didn't have someone say "what's my motivation" doesn't make the scene well-written. Dawson thinks "that's implicit," but Chris disagrees, saying he thinks Wade would "play it cool, I mean, retain a little self-dignity" and not wear all his emotions on his sleeve; Devon doesn't think Sammy would "blow a gasket over this." Dawson tries to explain, "Chris -- not everybody is as cool as you." Can we not have the words "Chris" and "cool" in the same sentence, ever again? Great, thanks. Dawson goes on, "When Wade finds out his girlfriend kissed another guy, he's crushed, okay, the last thing he's thinking about is preserving any self-dignity." Chris looks puzzled as Dawson turns to Devon and says, "And you're, you're an angry girl. I mean, that's, that's a part of the essence of who you are. Okay, right now you're frustrated that Wade can't see that you've moved beyond him." Devon nods; Sars shakes her head, because no way does Dawson have that much insight into anyone besides himself. Chris pipes up again in genuine dismay, "Dawson, man, I can't relate. I've never been there." Oh, for the love of pete. Dawson looks around and sees Joey painting at an easel with an admiring group gathered around her, which inspires him to flare his nostrils and explain, "It's agony. Complete, excruciating agony -- it's like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on, and you can't breathe, you don't want to eat, you can't function. Uh, it's," and he trails off and looks over at Joey again before continuing, "It's the most intense pain you'll ever feel and the worst part is there's no way to relieve it -- it's, it's unyielding merciless torture, and you know that it's yours for life." Dawson turns to Devon: "And Devon, you're -- you feel completely misunderstood. You think that this guy who you've believed in your whole life can't see the hope and potential of what you can become, and so -- you're, you're petrified, you're, you're, you're confused, you don't, you're afraid to stay with him, you're afraid to stay without him, you're frustrated, you feel so -- alone." Devon nods slightly. Dawson falls silent and looks back at Joey, whom we see in slo-mo, bathed in soft light and smiling self-deprecatingly; Devon follows his gaze and narrows her eyes thoughtfully. James Van Der Beek actually kept the scenery-gnawing to a minimum during that speech -- nice work. Now, if only the writers could figure out a way to make Dawson likable.
Joey sorts headshots; Devon strides up to her and says, "Sammy, I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment." Lord help us all. Joey says, "It's Joey," and makes a "whatever" face as Devon says, "Riiiight. Anyway, I'm having a problem with this scene -- I don't really get where my anger comes from. Personally, I'm not angry by nature and I was just wondering if you could should me how you'd do it." Joey doesn't understand what she means, and when Devon explains, Joey says snippily, "Well, see, I personally am not angry by nature, so that would be the fictional part of this autobiographical tale." I don't know about that; I think Dawson got that whole "an angry girl" thing right, myself. Devon doesn't buy it, and since they didn't have enough money to pay Abby this week, she asks Joey, "So tell me -- how do you date one guy while you're still in love with another?" Joey snorts, "Look, I know what you're trying to do. Don't go there." Devon keeps pressing, referring to Joey "liplocked with that puppy-dog" and asking, "What is this Jack guy, a safety net?" As Jack materializes from a nearby doorway, Joey resists taking the bait: "Ooooh -- you're good. But I'm not that easily manipulated." Jack asks, "Is everything okay?" and Devon wants to know, "Tell me, Jack, what's it like being the transition guy?" Predictably, Joey loses her cool and snaps, "Would you stop it?" and Devon continues, "You know, it must be really hard opening your heart to a girl whose heart is reserved for someone else." Jack shoots Joey a worried look as Joey finally bursts out, "You know what? Look, you annoying little third-rate wanna-be, why don't you take your irritating self and prey on somebody who doesn't see through your pathetic attempt to masquerade bitchiness as research?" Sars adds, "And why don't you give Abby her job back, because she does it a lot better than you do?" Devon arches a pixie brow and says, "Thank you," and as she does her Norma Desmond float down the hall, Jack asks, "What was that?" and Joey fumes, "She's too short to play me."
In the prop room, head prop girl Andie bitches Devon out for losing a barrette, calls her irresponsible, and goes off on a tirade about how they'll never find it blah blah blah fishcakes. Devon, not in the mood to take guff from the little people, tells her that she "need[s] to prepare," and to "get a grip, prop girl." Shut up, Devon. A concerned Pacey has to drag Andie away from the confrontation, and he tells her he's "starting to get a little worried" about her, but she says, "Well, don't be, I'm fine." Pacey says, "No, you're really not fine." Andie thanks him sarcastically for his support, and Pacey asks her what to do, because, he says, "I'm starting to feel like I'm getting a little screwed either way." Andie says angrily, "My father is MIA, my mother is barely lucid, I'm holding on by my fingertips, and yet somehow you're the one that's screwed? Oh yeah, that's right, it's always gotta be about Pacey." Pacey tells her not to make him the bad guy: "I'll be your shoulder to cry on, I'll even be your punching bag, but I'm not the bad guy." Andie, pointing her finger at him: "Pacey, I keep adding things to my life, instead of subtracting -- between school, my mother, Jack, you, something's gotta give, and the way I see it, there's only one expendable on that list." I would pick Jack as the expendable one, since he never does anything for Andie, but she obviously means Pacey, who tries to calm Andie down: "Andie, you're not in the right place to make that decision right now, okay?" Andie glares down at his hand on hers, and he removes it as he whispers, "I, I just, you're not thinking straight right now." Andie says oh yes she is, and that for the first time she sees everything clearly -- Pacey has got to go. Pacey tells her she doesn't mean that, but Andie yells, "Yes I do, and if you really care about me, if you really want to help me, then you would just back off and leave me alone." She storms off. Pacey sighs a few times.
Outside, Joey sulkily watches the filming of the scene where Joey/Sammy tries to explain to Dawson/Wade why she kissed Jack/Character Based On Jack Whose Name I Don't Know. Jen also watches; Jack, in a brilliant bit of subtext, holds the boom mike, and Dawson peers through the viewfinder. The writers have again lifted the dialogue verbatim from a episode. Dawson says, "And cut. That was incredible," and jumps down from behind the camera to compliment the actors, running his hands through his hair to denote great satisfaction. Note to the director of this episode: time to change James Van Der Beek's blocking. Jen herds the crew to the shot as Joey barrels over and drags Dawson inside to talk to him. After slamming the classroom door behind her, Joey asks, "Dawson, why do you insist on reliving in excruciating detail one of the most painful experiences of our lives? Is this your perversely self-defeating way of moving on, or are you just trying to punish me?" Um, Joey, if you had an objection to Dawson's script, maybe you could have raised it before he did umpteen rewrites and started shooting the damn thing. Dawson stares at her, nonplussed, and says, "Neither," but Joey won't let it drop, whining, "How can you be so okay with this, Dawson, I mean, didn't we mean anything to each other? Isn't anything sacred with you? I mean, I, I know that you've, you've gotten over us and everything that we went through, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe I haven't? I mean, it takes time! I'm happy you are, and I'm glad that you found it so easy to just move on, but you know, this movie is just self-indulgent and unfair, I mean," and Dawson interrupts to remind her that, actually, she dumped him: "You have a new boyfriend, you found your art passion, you have a whole new life -- what do I have?" Joey snarls back with her eyes slitted, "A self-obsessed movie," and Dawson shouts, "Well, forgive me for not letting go of the one thing that I've got left!" He heads for the door and Joey splutters, "Well, that's not healthy, Dawson," and an enraged Dawson rounds on her: "You know what, I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you bitch to me about what I've done, okay -- Joey, you left me. You dumped me. I haven't moved on! I haven't let go, okay, and that's why, that's why I'm clinging for dear life to the one thing that's keeping me going." Dawson stalks from the room, nostrils flared, and slams the door. Joey slumps her shoulders and runs her hands through her hair to denote frustration. Pardon me while I have the words "get over yourself" tattooed backwards on Joey's forehead so she can see them every time she looks in the mirror.
Bring me the head of the OmniPoint parrot.
Jen gives someone a call time (whatever) while Grams straightens up some papers and a couple of cans of Pringles yell "product placement!" Jen wanders over and offers to help, and Grams thanks her. Then Grams says, "You know, I watched you today, and you know what I saw?" Jen says wryly, "Why do I feel a lecture coming on here?" but Grams ignores the sarcasm and says, "I saw all these young people working together as a team for a common call, and I, I was so impressed. Then I realized who was in charge of everyone, and I was so proud." Jen looks down and smiles to herself as Grams continues, "I found myself watching a beautiful, accomplished young woman, who just happened to be my granddaughter." Aw. Welcome back, Grams. We missed you.
Jen says she hopes she had everyone else fooled, and that "I was definitely flying by the seat of my pants," but Grams shakes her head and says, "A woman movie producer," and says that in her day, women didn't have career options like they do now, "but now -- what a wonderful time to be a woman! You can do or be anything you want." Jen smiles. Tyson walks in, and Grams glances at him and adds, "And without a man by your side." Jen says, "Couldn't resist that one, huh?" Oh, Jen, lighten up. Tyson tells Jen they just wrapped the last shot and he's ready whenever she is, and Jen looks at Grams and asks Tyson to give her a second. Tyson walks off, and Jen says to Grams, "Okay, go ahead. I know that you're dying to get it off your chest." Grams rolls her eyes and says, "Have a nice time, dear. You deserve it," and pinches Jen's cheek. Jen thanks her and makes for the door as Grams calls out, "Just don't stay out -- too late," and Jen says, "I know," and Grams smiles as she leaves. Can we rename the show "Grams's Creek"? Please?
In the darkened hallway, Pacey crouches beside a bank of lockers. Dawson, on his way down the hall, notices him there and says, "Pacey? You look terrible." With friends like Dawson, who needs food poisoning? Anyway, Pacey says that he should look terrible because he "screwed up with Andie -- pushed too hard." Pacey studies his hands and goes on, "She told me that I'm the element in her life that she can do without." Dawson asks, "Did she mean it?" Pacey says yes, she meant it. Dawson does not say, "Wow, that sucks." Dawson does not say, "I'm really sorry to hear that." Dawson does not ask Pacey what he plans to do, or offer to listen if Pacey wants to talk, or suggest that they go out and get trashed -- no, no, no, all of these things would suggest that Dawson had some grasp, no matter how feeble, of empathy and of friendship. No, Dawson chooses instead to pose as a fount of wisdom about male-female relationships, despite the fact that neither of his relationships to date lasted more than two weeks and despite the fact that the girls both told him, "It's not you, it's me," and then proceeded to give the lie to that by going out with other boys, and in his most world-weary voice Dawson tells Pacey, "Let her go." Pacey, in disbelief: "What?" Dawson, mildly surprised that Pacey has not accepted The Word Of Dawson as his guide: "I think you should let her go. I mean, really do it, don't, don't just pay lip service, I mean -- let her go." Pacey, snidely: "Like what you're doing with Joey?" Dawson, not getting it but taking the opportunity to turn the conversation towards himself: "What I'm trying to do with Joey, I mean I've been fooling myself, Pacey, but I think -- I'm gonna do it. It's the only way you can really get somebody to come back to you." Well, that, or not act like the world revolves around you -- ever considered that plan, Dawson? Pacey gets to his feet and sighs, "You know, as textbook healthy as the letting-go theory sounds, Dawson -- and, you know, it may work out for you -- it doesn't apply to me. This isn't a case of teen romance gone sour -- I know what I want, I want Andie, and she's really hurting right now, and whether she knows it or not, she needs me. I have absolutely no intention of letting her go." Dawson looks skeptical; Pacey stares at him impatiently and then walks off, and Dawson makes his "but I make movies, so I know fuck-all" face and sighs. Thank you, Pacey, for putting Dawson in his place. Now, if only he would stay there.
Jen and Tyson, walking down the street. Jen hopes they can get something to eat; Tyson says the "get-together" he's taking her to should have stuff to snack on. Jen expresses excitement about a "good party." They go inside and Tyson introduces Jen to everyone. The host suggests that they get started. Tyson has brought Jen to a Bible study group. Tyson smiles blandly at Jen as Jen blanches and the host reads from the first book of Kings. I don't know what to say about this, except perhaps BA HA HAAAA! Oh, and also, go Grams.
Over at McPhee Manor, a dishevelled Andie runs down the stairs in her bathrobe to answer the door. (Bad TV Corollary #88 -- if a character suffers from depression, he or she must wear a bathrobe and sport uncombed hair; otherwise, viewers might not get it.) She opens the door, sees Pacey standing there with a single red rose (awww), says, "Go away, Pacey," and slams the door in his face. Pacey rattles the door knocker; Andie yells, "I'm ignoring you," and runs back upstairs. As Bruce Springsteen emotes in the background, Pacey climbs the trellis under Andie's window while Andie returns to her homework. Andie sees Pacey climbing the trellis, the rose clenched in his teeth, and yelps, "Are you nuts? What are you doing?" Of course, he slips; of course, Andie says, "Oh my god, be careful!" He hands her the rose. She asks if this is his way of staying away from her. Pacey jokes that actually, he's decided not to do that, because she needs him, and nobody else would put up with her. Andie says something to the effect of "one shove and it's a long way down," but Pacey tells her he'd just have to climb right back up. Andie says he's "acting like a psycho" and she doesn't need any more crazy people in her life right now, and she prepares to slam down the window (open. In late autumn. In Cape Cod. Whatever), and Pacey stops her and says he won't let her push him away, and talks about his charter membership in the Andie McPhee Fan Club. Andie shakes her head: "I just -- I wanna feel better, Pacey." Pacey, climbing into the room: "I know, Andie. I know, and I can help. I know I can, and I'm not gonna turn away from you, not after all you've done for me, Andie, and certainly not when you need me the most." Andie tries to avoid his caresses as Pacey continues, "We can do this together, and I know that I can help you." Andie sits down, and on the verge of tears she asks how Pacey knows he can help her. Pacey kneels down in front of her: "Because, Andie, I love you." Sniffle. Andie has to smile at that. She says, "I love you too," and they kiss. Okay, I've never really liked the whole human-cloning idea, but we obviously have to clone some Paceys and that's all there is to it.
Over on the "set," Dawson shuffles papers. Chris invites Dawson to join him and Devon for a bite to eat, but Dawson says no thanks, he has some work to do. Chris walks away, but Devon pauses to tell Dawson that he impressed her today, and then she quizzes him about the ending and refers to her Psych professor again, but Dawson cuts her off with some weird past-future comment that doesn't even bear repeating, and then Devon tells him that he shows "real potential as a director" and invites him along to dinner again, and again he says no thanks. She and Chris leave. I didn't have to tell Chris to shut up once during this episode! Joey appears; Dawson thought she had probably taken off, and Joey breathes, "Yeah," and rubs her head. Joey apologizes for ripping Dawson a new one (note to Joey: never apologize for doing us all a favor), and explains that she's had a hard time watching her life "reenacted in front of half of Capeside." Dawson in turn apologizes if he offended her or hurt her, but he thought that by making the movie he could put the past behind him in "one fell swoop." "Fell swoop"? As it turns out, he says, it hasn't worked that way. Joey -- natch -- runs her hands through her hair and sits down on a bench as Dawson tells her that he has "spent the last few months of [his] existence trying to figure out how to be without [her]." He says he's tried pretending that it doesn't hurt and he doesn't care, because if he acted that way, maybe it would come true, but in fact he only wants to crawl into his room and shut the blinds and pour his heart out to his best friend. Joey looks away uncomfortably as he sits down, then tells him he doesn't realize that she's had just as hard a time. "It's been tearing me apart too," she says, "but I know we'll always be connected. You know that our lives are destined to be intertwined, but," and Dawson finishes for her, "We have to move on." Joey whispers, "Yeah." Dawson says, "A little bit today, a little more tomorrow." As they exchange a rueful look, Jack comes up and asks Joey if she's ready to go. Dawson finally gets a clue about how to behave and thanks Jack for helping out, and Jack says no problem and asks if Dawson wants any more help cleaning up, but Dawson shoos them away, and after watching them go, he prowls around the set as the lights go out.