Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Am Not The Cheese
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.20.2011
Dana: "Whew! Let's talk about Cary. You want to hurt him, yeah?"
Kalinda: "Actually, not really. We are kind of cool right now. He sort of made me feel like a ho last week, but to be honest I wasn't even really sure what I was thinking."
Dana: "That's cool, he wants to hurt you. So it's even stevens."
Kalinda: "Hurt me? How?"
Dana: "Through me."
Kalinda: "Like a ... sexual drone pilot. Huh. Maybe he is freaky enough to handle all this I got going on. Listen, how's he going to manage that?"
Dana: "There's a special prosecutor, it's Wendy Scott-Carr, we're not going after Lemond Bishop, we're after Will Gardner on bribery, banging judges..."
Kalinda: "Ha!"
Dana: "Oh, did I say banging? I meant bribing. I must have just said that because I was thinking about lesbian sex some more. Boy, I'm drunk! A lady could really take advantage of me right now in this drunken, lesbian state..."
Kalinda: "Now I know how Cary felt. You are either playing me or you aren't, but either way I got blueballs because I am putting you in a cab."
Dana: "But what about all the lesbian sex?"
Kalinda: "Yeah, right. Or maybe not. Good Lord this sucks, this situation. No wonder Cary always looks like he's about to start crying."
Dana: "My cab is here! For sex! But with whom?"
(Beat.)
Dana: "That was some awesome sex, unseen sexual partner!"
Cary: "...It is I! Cary Agos! I am soft like a woman!"
Dana: "Hey, I got this idea. Let's both pretend the other person is Kalinda, and then have lots of lesbian sex with each other."
Cary: "On the one hand, that has to be the motherfucking creepiest thing I've ever heard. On the other hand, I am totally cool with it."
Kalinda: "You gotta stay up pretty late to make me, the creepiest person of all time, seem like the most innocent one of all. Well done, you sick bitches."
HOME
Alicia: "Zach, help Mommy. Is anybody going through my computer?"
Zach: "No, just this one webcam thing you already saw."
Alicia: "On an unrelated note, I had the keys changed and here are your new housekeys. Do not share them with anybody, even your grandma."
Zach & Grace: "Aw hell, what did she do now?"
Alicia: "Nothing! Everything is fine! I just think Jackie misses being over here all the time and I think she wants to bug me all the time, so..."
Zach & Grace: "I mean, she picks us up from school and stuff because Chris Noth is so busy doing other stuff."
Alicia: "I know. I just want to put the fear of God in her..."
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