Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Am Not The Cheese
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.20.2011
Little Children: "We are so hungry for real food! Stop killing us!"
Michelle Obama: "Fuckers can't lose. Sorry, little children. They got us by the short and curlies. I can't do this on my own."
Republicans: "That alone is a good enough reason to fuck over little children and murder them. Serves you right for marrying a black man. Corn uber alles."
COURT MARTIAL
Alicia: "How are you, Gina? Still sad about all those people you killed? Are you in touch with your parents? And their money? Are they coming? Are they prone to cry in front of juries? No? Well, is there anything I can do to make you stop making that horrible face? Would you like some delicious Corn products?"
Next Witness: Staff Sergeant Nora Swan, Aircraft Structural Maintenance. Former bunkmate of the accused at Addis Air Force Base, and exuberant drug user. Turns out she supplied Gina with a stimulant called Adriphan, but that "supplied" is kind of pushing it because everybody does it because war happens all the time, not just when you've had a nap. Last possible thing before the sexism gambit, but not really anything in Gina's favor either.
Alicia: "So, other people in the unit take these pills? In fact, isn't it an open secret that Adriphan is taken by almost everyone, from fighter pilots to...?"
Prosecution: "Objection, Your Honor! Calls for speculation."
Alicia: "Actually, I don't think it calls for much speculation at all..."
Kuhn: "Mrs. Florrick!"
Alicia: "My bad again."
L/G INCURSION
Wendy Scott-Carr, with Dana & Cary as her heavies, visits Diane in her lovely, huge, well-appointed office.
WSC: "My parents always wanted me to take the corporate path..."
Diane: "But you were the rebel?"
WSC: "I tried being a defense attorney, but... I realized I didn't like guilty people."
(Beat.)
WSC, disingenuous: "Not that you do..."
Diane, arch: "Oh no, I do. I love them. That's why I work here."
Dana, outside: "This isn't going to go well, is it?"
Cary: "Nope. This is where I sat when I was waiting to be fired, actually."
Dana, cutely: Takes out her gum and sticks it under the chair.
WSC: "Do you have children, Diane? Just kidding, I already know you don't. But anyway, I found the best way to raise mine was to tell them exactly what is expected of them, how they misbehaved, and what they have to do to get back in my good graces."
Diane: "I didn't even know you had graces, and suddenly I seem to be out of them..."
WSC: "Yeah, I was being condescending. That's kind of my deal. Actually, I was threatening Will."
Diane: "He's not here right now, maybe you could go fuck yourself and come back later."
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