Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nice plan, brain trust.
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.19.1998
Blah blah blah Aztec-cakes.
Night. Diane marches determinedly into Em City. Schillinger sees her. She signals to the hack at the control panel, and he opens Beecher's pod. Again, I can't believe Schillinger thought she would do this in full view of the entire prison, but I guess he's just not really on his game right now. Diane gets Beecher out of bed, has him put pants on, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Said, Adebisi, and Ryan all watch, ostensibly to heighten the drama, but really, come on. The next morning, the prisoners gossip about what happened. Adebisi thinks Beecher and Diane are "probably fucking," while Rebadow thinks Beecher paid Diane to help him escape. Alvarez says they were sleeping together, but Beecher was going to tell someone, so she tried to kill him. Given that Schillinger approached him, wouldn't Alvarez have a clue here? Schillinger eavesdrops and smiles contentedly. Later, Schillinger meets up with Diane, and is positively giddy. She asks him a couple of questions that establish that he hired her to commit murder. Not noticing the big neon sign behind her that's flashing, "SHE'S RECORDING THIS, YOU IDIOT!" he answers truthfully. She asks if he wants to see the body, and he says yes. She leads him up the spooky stairs and opens a heavy door. There's no one there at first, but then a grinning Beecher appears from around the corner. Schillinger's aghast, and it only gets worse as McManus shows his face, along with a few hacks. Schillinger plays dumb, but Diane's already there with the tape, which she plays back. McManus says that instead of a parole hearing, Schillinger will be attending his very own conspiracy to commit murder trial. Wow, McManus gets edged out of first place for the episode at the Chump Awards! Of course, the Lifetime Achievement Award is another story entirely. Schillinger gets dragged away to the hole.
Beecher enters his pod and brags how he's gotten Schillinger out of Em City without him getting free. Hill points out what's so glaringly obvious, it should only be viewed through a pinhole in black construction paper: "With no hope of leaving Oz, now he's got even more reason to fuck you up." Beecher: "Thank God I'm crazy, 'cause I don't give a shit." Beecher, the thing is, you might be sober in the morning. But Schillinger will still want to kill you. And I bet that's what the man in question is thinking right now, as he sits naked in the hole, sadness and loathing all over his face.
Pete goes to see Glynn, but is told by his secretary, a generic young blonde woman, that he's in with Mukada. Generic Blonde tells Pete that Glynn is a very nice man, and although she had reservations about working at a prison, she's really gotten used to it. Well, she's dead. Generic Blonde gets a call, looks a bit puzzled, and patches it through to Glynn. She tells Glynn his wife is on the line, and that it's urgent. Momentarily, a very agitated Glynn emerges, blows Pete off, and leaves, saying he doesn't know when he'll be back. Is he leaving on a jet plane? Mukada emerges and informs us, "Something's happened. Something's wrong." Baby, it's happening.