Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nice plan, brain trust.
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.19.1998
Lord. Now McManus goes to see Poet, who appears to be writing something. McManus asks what it is, and is told that it's a poem. We see said "poem," which is actually a scary-looking doodle of a building, with insects and fire or blood around it. Boy, I wish I could turn my in recaps in that format. The only distinguishable word on the paper is "fuck." Yup, looks awfully familiar. Poet's sporting zigzag sideburns. McManus asks him to read the poem, and he starts in about roaches and motels. The poem continues into voiceover as we get Poet's prisoner flashback. "Prisoner Number 96J332. Arnold Jackson, a.k.a. Poet." Armed robbery, attempted murder, possession of a deadly weapon. Sixteen years, parole in nine. In broad daylight, he, now wearing cornrows, accosts a wealthy-looking couple with a gun on a nice-looking street. He stands way too close to them, and a scuffle ensues which ends in the husband getting shot. The car alarm goes off, in a nice touch. Poet runs off. Not the brightest star in the heavens, our Poet. McManus tells Poet he wants him to go to class and get his GED, and bribes him with a one-time conjugal, even though Poet isn't married. He sticks out his hand to seal the deal, but Poet merely nods his agreement, demonstrating that no matter how horny he is, he ain't touching McManus. Poet walks away, and McManus tries to pretend that he wasn't completely dissed.
Classroom. Oxford Shirt wants to get an idea of their literacy skills, and asks Wangler to read a paragraph in a book. Wangler asks why, and Oxford Shirt tells him that the class is going to make a vocabulary list of the words they don't know. Kirk doesn't know what "vocabulary" means, as if it doesn't pertain to fellatio, he's not interested. Kirk then wonders if it's a disease, and asks Wangler if he's got "a limp vocabulary." Wangler: "Fuck you! I ain't even got one." Truer words were never spoken. Once Oxford Shirt finishes explaining the word "vocabulary," he turns back to Wangler, who refuses to read the paragraph, and does anyone not think that Wangler ignored the letters "RIF" as a child? Yeah, I didn't think so. Wangler gets increasingly agitated until he throws his desk away and attacks the teacher. The entire SORT team rushes in, and I guess they're not taking any chances after the riot. McManus learns what happened, and tells them to take Wangler to his office. Well, spending more time with you is punishment enough, I suppose. In the office, McManus, way more on the ball than usual, tries to get Wangler to read something, but he won't. McManus writes his surname on a dry-erase board and asks Wangler to read it. Wangler squints and comes up with, "McDonald's." Ha! And realistic. Very clever, Tom. McManus, seemingly unflattered that Wangler confused his name with one that's worth something, has the guards escort Wangler out. Here's a vocabulary word for you, Wangler: "psycho." And while we're at it, "mop."