Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nice plan, brain trust.
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.19.1998
God, shut up, Hill.
Gym. Ryan's working out when some dude points out a stain on his shirt. He looks under it, and is chagrined to discover that his right nipple is bleeding. I think you and Adebisi need a safe word, Ryan. In the infirmary, Gloria examines the affected area and asks him some questions. Ryan flirts with her. I stare at his chest. Oh, come on, you were too. Gloria says she doesn't know what's wrong, and she'll have to check her medical books. Cut to her doing just that. Ryan gets X-rayed. Gloria makes a phone call, and when she hangs up, she looks very disturbed. The next morning, she calls him into her office by his given name, which he picks up on. She breaks the news that he may have breast cancer. He laughs, but she's serious. Ryan: "I'm not a fag, you know that?" Yeah, yeah, we've been here before. He goes on: "I've been in this shithole for over a year, and I ain't ever taken it up the ass!" While that raises some obvious follow-up questions, I won't ask them out of respect for Ryan's situation here. He rants that he doesn't have a "chick's disease," and that he doesn't have breasts. "I got a chest! See it? Huh? See it?" Is this a trick question? He tells her to take more blood, but to get him another verdict.
Staff room. They all gossip about Ryan's disease. Mukada asks Gloria if she's sure about the diagnosis. She says she's only a G.P., but she consulted a friend who's an oncologist, and yeah, he's pretty darn sure. McManus says she should do the needle extract, but she claims that Ryan won't agree to it, which doesn't seem to jive with his whole "get another verdict" attitude, but there are only two minutes left in the episode, so what do I care? Pete offers to talk to Ryan, but Mukada thinks maybe he should do it, being a guy and all. They babble back and forth until McManus, of all people, gets the idea to flip a coin. Pete calls heads. It's never heads, Pete. Sure enough, as Ryan examines his chest in the mirror, Mukada approaches. Father Ray's just having the best couple of days, isn't he? Ryan says that Gloria's wrong, but Mukada counters that they won't know without the biopsy. Mukada is wearing a black leather jacket over his vestments. Is that allowed? Ryan says that if he does have it and the other prisoners find out, they'll pounce on his weakness and kill him. Mukada argues that if he lets the cancer spread, he'll die anyway. Ryan looks like he might cry, and this is by far the most vulnerable he's ever been. Aw. Nice job, Dean Winters.