Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dead women tell no tales
By Aaron | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 03.30.2002
And much like Michael C. Hall's show tune renditions (thanks, harper!), the siren song of product placement remains all too alluring for AOL Time Warner to pass up. So, after the obligatory lingering shot of the Apple logo on the back of her PowerBook, we now see Brenda struggling with the demons of writer's block. The blank page and flashing cursor mock her subtly (and the viewers as well, since we're all scared that Sarah Jessica Parker is going to appear and attempt to sum up the entire episode with a pithy question and a questionable pun), and she bangs on the delete key in frustration. Suddenly, the screen is filled with a number of spooky, pointed missives, including "All you ever do is observe yourself," and "You're incapable of doing anything real." Unfortunately, while the audience is supposed to be sympathizing with Brenda and remembering her psychotic brother and the depressing voices that HE heard, I've only got one thought in my mind, and I think you all know what it is:
All work and no play makes Brenda a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Brenda a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Brenda a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Brenda a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Brenda a dull girl.
Over in George's office, Claire is running down her school schedule and complaining that the SATs are sucking up all her time. George just stares at her with a stupid grin and congratulates her for "nurturing herself." Claire rants a bit, and then describes the SATs as being like "this nasty fluorescent light. The kind that shows all your pockmarks and tiny scars you wish you could hide." Apparently it also reveals a lot of the bad dialogue you wish you could hide, but that's a different story. And besides, I rocked the SATs, so I don't really know what she's worried about. In fact, my single greatest accomplishment in life was scoring higher on the verbal than Sars did. And I will NEVER let her forget it. George thinks it's great that Claire is finally "coming into [her] own," and the director provides us with a lingering, smarmy close-up of him that's supposed to indicate sexual tension, but instead ends up making me think that this guy's eyebrows would be right at home adorning Peter Krause's chest.
The Formaldehyde Fortress. Ruth is cooking dinner and constructobabbling that David doesn't need to apologize for telling her to shut the fuck up last week. "If you live in a neighborhood for a long time," she says, "and somebody moves in and renovates the house across the street, that can just make you feel your own house is shabby." "I see," replies David. "Did you just insult me?" Heh. Also, what happens if somebody burns down the house across the street? Not that I'm suggesting someone should light Ruth on fire, of course, but it is sort of the obvious question. There's more constructobabble, and then Claire enters, which prompts David to explain that he's got a hot date that night. And next is Nate's turn, as he walks in and explains that he's having problems putting together the DGDJ's funeral. Apparently, she had no friends and no close family, and the only person Nate could get in touch with has a "phobia about going to funerals." "Some people are so sick," replies David, before suggesting that Nate try calling her job. Unfortunately, he already did, and discovered that she was a temp who never worked for long in the same place. Well, at least it's good to know that she's continuing last week's theme of people who live above their means. I mean, there's no way in hell that a temp could afford that woman's house.