Episode Report Card Demian: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Somewhere, Sigmund Freud spins in his grave
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.21.2001
Okay, I'll allow that the "all I am is yours" bit is sweet, but he just had to frigging go there with that "soul mate" bullshit. I weep for the preadolescent girls who believe in that crap. Anyway, Grams turns to Piper, telling her it's her turn. Let's listen in:
Piper: "Leo, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. [I wouldn't brag about that if I were you, sweetpea.] I was afraid that you were too good to be true [Not.], that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving [And boring and dull-witted and charm-free and…oops. I digress.] as you are. Yet here we are, surrounded by the people I love the most [Note: they inserted a glamour shot of Finola Hughes on this line. Her teeth continue their reign of terror.], and I feel so proud and so blessed to be your wife. Leo, I was born to love you, and I always will."
Hey, Brad Kern. Paul Stupin called. He's waiting for his residual check for that "I was born to love you" crap you ripped straight from the Faithless Hussy's vows in the season three finale of Dawson's Creek. Grams continues, "Here, before witnesses, Leo and Piper have sworn their vows to each other. With this cord, I bind them to those vows." Grams TKs a thin, white silken rope that winds itself around the clasped hands of Piper and the Dolt. The newlyweds recite, "Heart to thee, body to thee, always and forever, so would it be." The last four words are repeated first by Grams, then by the assembled witnesses. The reconstructed grandfather clock in the hall chimes midnight. Grams urges the Dolt to "kiss [Piper] fast." He bursts into a wide, toothy smile and does so as the five facets of the Whitelighter chandelier explode into shimmering, cascading points of light above their heads. Victor shares a tender moment with his dead ex-wife. Cole, Darryl, Phoebe, and Prue gaze up at the cascade of light, all four grinning broadly. Grams, all WASPily verklempt, blows a two-handed kiss into the camera. We cut back to Piper and the Dolt still macking their merry way through their moment of triumph, and we then slowly fade to black.
Next week: a rerun of "Sight Unseen" for those of you who missed the Single White Female rip-off the first time it aired. No new episodes until mid-March. Wish me well on my job hunt, kids, and have fun.