Episode Report Card Deborah: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Can You See Them / See Right Through Them"
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.27.2005
As they're about to enter the newspaper office, The Duff tells her sincerely, "I just wanted to say that…what you did was really amazing." Joan: "Sure. Anytime. Not really." The Duff doesn't know how to sufficiently thank her. Frink: "You could apologize for being such a bitch." The Duff got her a gift. She hands Joan a chunky gold box. Inside is a watch with a red face and a red strap. It's a reasonably substantial watch, but compared to the one Joan normally wears, it looks almost delicate. Joan: "Wow, it looks like I retired from some job after thirty years." Joan tries to refuse the gift, but The Duff insists, saying it's the nicest thing she thinks anyone's ever done for her. Joan reluctantly accepts it and thanks her, adding, "If you really want to do something for me, don't…knock over my stuff. That would be helpful." Frink: "Thank you! Eat that, Duff!" He really has issues with bullies. And rude people. Often one and the same. The Duff responds to this with a halting sound that's sort of a chuckle, accompanied by a nervous look, and says, "You're hilarious." Okay, I was tired of Hilary Duff in her first scene. Now I'm really tired. Seriously, there was no good reason to cast her in this role, other than to try to attract her fan contingent to this show. Which I know seems like a "good reason" to network executives, but newsflash: it's not. She could barely hold her own against a Heffalump, never mind the mad acting skillz of the principals on this show. ["And is there really such a huge overlap between JoA fans and Duff fans? Not only does this casting kind of alienate viewers who aren't teenage girls, it also just assumes that all teenage girls are the same and have identically unnuanced tastes in culture. In short: boo." -- Sars] Any stunt casting on this show ought to at least take that into consideration. And I'll presume to speak for much of the audience when I say: spare us the stunt casting altogether. These people can almost never disappear into their roles, which means you're always conscious of their celebrity in the most annoying way. It's the same objection I have to seeing any film with people like Tom Cruise or Julia Roberts or any of that ilk in it: I never stop seeing Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, etc., no matter how good they might manage to be. Whereas I watched The Contender in its entirety and did not realize until the end: That was Gary Oldman? (Despite the fact that I vaguely registered his name in the opening credits.) Now there's a guy who can disappear into a role. Likewise Tilda Swinton, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren... Tip to actors who would like audiences to focus on their roles instead of their celebrity: Stay the hell out of the spotlight. It really helps. Yes, it is your fault. Gary Oldman isn't on the cover of US Weekly every time he buys a pair of shoes. Also, be British. That helps, too. Jude Law, you can just sit right back down. You crossed that line last year. Six films in one year? Sod off, mate. Your very ubiquity is pissing me off.
What the hell was I doing? Oh, yes. The Duff. And you know we have to put up with her sister in the next three episodes, right? How I wish I were kidding. ["And if you think Hilary looks like a pie that got stepped on, wait 'til you dig Haylie. Troll-o-rama." -- Sars] Anyway, Joan doesn't know how to respond to The Duff's idiotic "You're hilarious" response, so they go into the newspaper office, where, of course, Brian is there, directing them to stand by the school seal. (As in insignia, not as in carnivorous marine mammal. Though the latter would be much more entertaining.) Joan asks The Duff if she's sure she wants to be photographed with her: "I know you have a reputation to protect." The Duff gives her a light "go on with you" tap on the back and puts her arm around Joan, smiling for the cameras. While the photographer snaps away, Brian, wearing a horrendously mismatched checked shirt and striped tie, interviews Joan: "Do you feel like a hero?" Joan makes an extremely weak joke about having left her cape at home, which Brian duly writes down as The Duff giggles. Joan looks apprehensively at the camera while The Duff beams.