Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 58 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Have Hot Ice Cubes In My Head
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 02.04.2014
Let me tell you a little something about Brenda, which is that she is having none of your bullshit.
Spencer: "Hey Brenda, can I grab you for a second?"
Brenda: "Sure, let's do this fast. Over in this alcove."
Spencer: "So my dad's away on business and my Study Aid prescription is in his briefcase and I... Hey wait, you have a Study Aid Rx, do you not? That's so weird, what a coincidence..."
Brenda: "How many you want? Sure you just want two?"
Spencer: "Well, now that is a very good point. Any number of things could go wrong between now and then. Probably you should give me one million of them."
Brenda: "Let's start with five, shall we? And I operate on a cash basis."
Spencer: "WHAT? Is this a DRUG DEAL?"
Brenda: "...Call me when you grow a pair, I don't have time for this amateur bullshit."
Spencer: "Fine, fine. I am new to humiliating myself. Or at least to being aware that I'm doing it."
Brenda: "Great, I don't care. Fifty for five, next time's discounted..."
Spencer: "You have a punch card or something? Like at a hoagie shop?"
Brenda: "You don't know me like that, Hastings. Come correct or don't come knockin' at Brenda's door at all."
Spencer: "Yes ma'am."
She scurries away like JT Leroy and bumps right into Ezra Fitz, who already has the sexy thing going on before the shit even hits the fan.
Dr. Jekyll: "First of all, as your English teacher I gotta say you disappoint me. Your essay on Shirley Jackson's short story, which we're also leaving unnamed for some weird reason, is sub-par. I detected some plagiarism even, which is not very Hastings of you."
Spencer: "If my work is slipping what is the point of being on drugs?"
Mr. Hyde: "It's more about what else you're up to. You seem distracted lately."
Spencer: "Nope, just a stressed-out senior, nothing to see here."
Dr. Jekyll: "Because you know that shortcuts never work out..."
Mr. Hyde: "...And I know exactly what you are fucking up to. And you are going to meet with me after school today, and I am going to kill the shit out of you and let Mona Vanderwaal play with your guts like the Harley Quinn of your AP nightmares."
Spencer: "I'll take the grade, actually. And try to do better. I will do more drugs so I can do more investigating of you, and eventually either my brain will turn into a small star inside my skull with its own gravitational field, or you will go to jail and Aria will go back to Jake so we can all look at Jake, but either way I am not interested in getting killed today, so thanks."