Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Crap Miner's Daughter
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.26.2004
Martin comes downstairs with the twins. He looks way too proud of himself as he explains that he got the twins dressed today. Well, thank god someone did, otherwise they'd be going to school wearing seven pairs of underwear and cheese. Because Martin likes baseball, he has put the twins in matching baseball-y outfits. Vid says they want to be baseball players when they grow up. "Or pweachewewewes," says Sam. Yeah, uh, Sam? It turns out that to be a "preacher," you need to learn how to talk. Work on that. Off-camera. RevCam says they can be anything they want. Like a Famous People Player. SamVid say that in that case, they want to be baseball players, not preachers. Burn on you, Rev. As well as rejecting his occupation, the twins reject his offer of brown bag lunches, saying that Annie gave them money to buy today. What? Doesn't kindergarten run in half-days, meaning that, while the snacks are plentiful, there is no lunch? When I was in kindergarten, the one and only time we got to buy lunch was on Olympic Day, when they served pizza. Which was delicious, especially since it was covered with the greatest topping of all: victory. That's right: Team Red won the gold medal that year. We kicked ass in the tire obstacle course and we took no prisoners in the Medicine Ball Toss.
But back to the show. RevCam stammers that he made lunches because he thought Annie forgot to. "That was wrong thinking," Sam says, like, it must be a real thrill for him to say that to someone else when he no doubt hears it directed towards him so often. "You were incorrect," says Vid, who then adds a snippy little "bye," and SamVid take off. Damn, RevCam: you got told by retarded five-year-olds. Martin asks RevCam if he's okay, and RevCam says he's still reeling from Ruthie's revelation that she wants to date. Martin knows all about Harry, and has seen him with Ruthie in school. "And I don't like what I see," says Martin, adding that he doesn't think Harry is "good enough" for Ruthie. Whereas the kid who steals apples and buys tampons is. Martin would like to "keep an eye on the situation," if RevCam doesn't mind. Of course, RevCam is thrilled with the idea, as long as Martin doesn't use any of his favorite stalking bushes or the crow's nest he built in one of the trees along the Promenade. RevCam offers Martin a lunch, but Martin turns it down because RevCam's lunches suck compared to Annie's. And just what pressing issue took Annie away from making the lunches? Perhaps there was a dust bunny riot in the linen closet.
Kevin is spending his morning sneaking glances at Lucy. Finally, Lucy asks him what he wants. He asks her how her work at the church is going. Lucy says she's putting the class together. She plans on teaching more than abstinence, because she thinks that all an abstinence class entails is telling kids not to have sex. "You need to tell them more than once; they may not hear it the first time," says Kevin. Shut up, Kevin. Kevin brings up the "how many kids do we want?" subject with Lucy. She says she has no idea how many kids she wants; she figures they'll just see how it goes with the first one. "Good idea," says Kevin. I guess that "conflict" has been resolved. Lucy asks Kevin if he's okay to go to work; he didn't sleep well last night and he's acting "nutty." Kevin says he is fine, and anyway, Lucy needs to apartment to herself so she can do her work. "I love how you always support me in everything I do," says Lucy. Uh, no, Lucy, he just wants to get away from you.