Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Crap Miner's Daughter
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.26.2004
Georgia finds Simon on the Promenade and starts making out with him. He breaks it off and says they need to talk. Georgia asks Simon if he's breaking up with her again. "You broke up with me," Simon says. "Oh. Right," says Georgia, because people who enjoy premarital sex are stupid as well as morally bankrupt. Simon tells Georgia that he never should have been with her in the first place. Just let her down gently, there, Romeo. He continues by saying that he's sorry, but he doesn't think he's in love with her. "That's okay!" says Georgia, adding that she's not in love with Simon either, but maybe they can be in love, like, later. Or maybe, and here's a novel idea, they could be in a relationship where they enjoy being together but aren't in love and know it won't be long-term. Simon says that he has some things going on, and he needs some time to be with himself before he can be with her or anyone else.
RevCam tells Ruthie that dinner will be ready soon. She asks him what he thought of Harry. RevCam says that they're not saying that Ruthie can't date Harry, but they're not saying that she can date him either. Well, if he's going to be a wishy-washy little bitch like that, then I think Ruthie is perfectly justified in sneaking out of the house at night like everyone else her age. RevCam says that Ruthie and Harry are allowed to hang out around the house so the CamRents can get to know Harry better, and maybe later they'll figure something out. He asks Ruthie if she knows that Harry has gone from foster home to foster home his whole life. "That's not his fault," says Ruthie. "Hmm," says RevCam, as if it totally is Harry's fault. RevCam says it's a real shame that there isn't a "couple out there" or even one person who could make a difference for Harry. Well, RevCam, considering that you're obviously against gay relationships, gay marriage, and almost definitely, gay adoption, that kind of cuts the number of people who can help Harry down, doesn't it? But I guess it's better for children to waste away in county facilities than to live among homosexual sinners. Ruthie asks RevCam if he's thinking of adopting Harry so that Ruthie can't date him. RevCam considers this with a smile-smirk. Just when you think RevCam's reached the height of assholery, he goes and does something like that and tops it. RevCam says he's going to find someone who can take Harry. Look out, Sgt./Det./Cpt. Michaels! You're about to have a bizarre pizza dream sequence.
Kevin comes home to find Lucy staring at herself in a mirror. "Why do you love me?" she asks her husband. "Because co-dependency is awesome!" he responds. Or he rattles off some things about Lucy being an individual, which isn't true, and how that's "sexy." Kevin says that he likes that Lucy doesn't need a man in her life to "define" her and tell her what to do. Yeah, except her father. What is Kevin talking about? Maybe he has a mistress who's also named Lucy. Lucy2 sounds cool; I wish we'd see her. She'd probably be a lot like Georgia. Kevin says it's also great how, even though he has "more than enough money," Lucy wants to work. Hey, Mr. More Than Enough Money, how about buying your wife a computer? Or, like, A HOUSE? Or maybe even some food so you guys can stop stealing from your in-laws? Lucy and Kevin share a peck -- on the lips! Whoa, there, Camdens! You're moving into TV-PG territory here! Lucy's all happy now because she's finally thought of what to write for her sermon. But she'll need the apartment to write it down. Alone, apparently. Kevin's more than happy to oblige, as Mistress Lucy is waiting for him at the pool hall and he doesn't like to keep her waiting. Even though if he does, she doesn't go insane and throw pies at him.