Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tim Whoooooo? Inspector Whaaaaaa?
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.14.2005
Over at the coroner's office, Phoebe and Detective Doormat clomp through the halls as the Doormat warns Phoebe about Pepper Anderson's mounting suspicions. Phoebe, supposedly so disheartened by Tasty Tim's death that she no longer gives a rat's ass about Pepper Anderson, blows him off and plows past the Doormat to enter an examining room. The Doormat heaves a beleaguered sigh and follows, eventually leading Phoebe over to a black body bag lying atop a gurney. The Doormat unzips the thing, and the instant Phoebe glimpses the garish gashes on Pasty Tim's face, she spins around to gag into her hand, and I'm not buying one second of this crap at all. Two weeks. She knew this guy for two weeks, people. Yeah, he's hot, but please. Whatever. Phoebe eventually pulls herself together and places a hand on the corpse to force a premonition. Nothing happens. The Doormat, meanwhile, examines the body and guesses, "It looks like somebody was trying to send a message." "What?" Phoebe gasps, shocked at this supposition. "Why would you say that?" "It's vicious, it's calculated," the Doormat explains, "I see this all the time -- it's like it makes you think twice when you see him, and maybe that's the point. Do demons send messages like this?" he wonders. Phoebe, increasingly wrecked by the entire experience, which...no, because see above, and shut up, Phoebe, bleats, "Well, if it is a message, it's obviously for me." Because everything is All About Phoebe. Hag. With that, the Feebs spins on her heel and charges out of the room. The Doormat takes a long moment, zips the bag closed over Pasty Tim's face, and follows Phoebe through the swinging metal doors into the hallway beyond. The instant the Doormat's gone, Zankou blazes into the room, followed shortly by Corpse Fucker. "Poor Phoebe!" Zankou giggles. "So troubled, and it's only gonna get worse for her!" Hee! Oh, pretty please, Zankou? Don't be making me promises you can't keep, now. You know I've always had your back. Corpse Fucker, continuing to irritate, natters something vaguely disgusting and definitely dumb before ambling over to Pasty Tim's body bag. "Can it be done?" Zankou asks, following Corpse Fucker to the gurney. Corpse Fucker unzips the bag, takes a deep whiff, and sneers, "Rigor hasn't set in -- it's barely a challenge." "Then let's get to work," Zankou shrugs. He stretches his arms out with his palms hovering over Pasty Tim's body, and presently, Zankou's hands emit a pale pink glow that quickly suffuses the corpse. Before we get a chance to witness the glow's effects, however, the scene cuts to...
...the hallway outside, where Phoebe, on her cell with Raige, insists, "I'm telling you, it's the only thing that makes sense -- Tim was killed because he was with me!" Raige's NIPPLES, over at P3, argue that Phoebe can't be certain of that, and assure her that there must be some other explanation. "Well, I'm open to suggestions!" Phoebe shrieks as the Doormat shuffles over to her side to suggest they get their asses out of the morgue, pronto. Phoebe places a dismissive and condescendingly quieting hand on his chest before returning her attention to Raige, who insists, "When I get home, we will figure out who sent the demon." "You need to get some rest," Raige counsels. "That would be the best thing for you right now." Phoebe scoffs at the very idea of rest when she's the reason Tasty Tim's dead, and I quite simply cannot listen to her continue to make this all about her, so I'll skip ahead to the point where she stalks away from the Doormat in frustration and the camera cuts back over to P3, and wow. I totally don't care about this scene at all, either. You see, Raige has rejoined her new charge at the bar, and this Whitelighter-of-the-future Joanna person turns out to be a weak-willed dumbass with low self-esteem and an abusive boyfriend. Boring! Well, except for the boyfriend himself, who appears at this moment to drag Joanna out of the bar, and I'm only saying that because "Carl" here is nearly as tasty a morsel as Tim was. You know a storyline sucks ass when the only interesting thing about it is the himbo they tossed in to fill out the supporting cast. Raige shoots daggers at Carl with her eyes while Joanna makes some tedious excuses for the boyfriend's behavior before clattering out of the club on her tipply heels. Raige grimaces in frustration. Shut it, Muggy.