Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tim Whoooooo? Inspector Whaaaaaa?
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.14.2005
In any event, Zombeese snarls something stupid, but that's not important, because The Timbie takes this opportunity to hoist Phoebe into the air and slam her across the chamber into a bone-filled urn, which she demolishes with her emaciated derriere. Hooray! Dazed by the impact, Phoebe also lets fall the vanquishing vial she'd so carefully been clutching to her implants. Meanwhile, Zombanna drops Raige with one well-placed blow to the head as Piper's supposed zombinnocents advance upon her while Corpse Fucker chuckles skeevily at it all. A terribly lackluster bout of hand-to-desiccated-claw combat follows, with Zombanna beating Raige like a redheaded stepchild with a skeletal femur, Zombeese and The Timbie flipping the Feebs onto a bier to throttle her, and Piper fending off her Anonybies with a torch until she finally realizes what a bullshit scene this is and cremates them with her mighty Hands. Oh, sorry. Actually, Piper, backed into a corner, pleads, "Don't make me do this!" before murmuring, "God help us!" and unleashing the Hands. Don't bother asking why she'd be so worried about toasting the soulless, rotting, demon-controlled shells of what these people once were, because you'll never get an answer for your question. Just know that Piper takes out her Anonybies one by one before Raige catches the snap and dusts Zombanna with a handy vanquishing vial. Corpse Fucker howls and wails in dismay as his slightly sticky meat puppets collapse into piles of ash on the floor. Finally, Piper takes out Zombeese and The Timbie, and I'll say it again: They really shouldn't have wasted a hot little number like Colin Egglesfield on such a throwaway role. I hate this show.
Phoebe hoots and yodels for a bit until she realizes she's free to leap to Piper's side and attempt to console her older sister with, "You had to." "We all did," Raige amends as she joins them, "except for, apparently, you, you bony fucking skank. Once again, one of us had to come through in a pinch to save your worthless ass." Or maybe she said the first three words and telepathically transmitted the rest. To me. Corpse Fucker makes some whinging noises about the wanton destruction of his slightly sticky meat puppets, but it doesn't matter at all, for at that moment Zankou suddenly appears in the chamber's stone stairwell to hurl a Flaming Ball Of Death at his supposed chum, who howls and wails and vanishes in a merry ball of fire towards The Waste Land. The Glamorous Ladies glare. "Served his purpose," Zankou shrugs. Heh. "Why would you do that?" Piper ices. Zankou broadens his grin, but remains silent. "What do you have to gain?" Piper restates, her voice rising. "You'll soon find out," Zankou twinkles as he vanishes in a pillar of flame. The Glamorous Ladies blink.