Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Secrets Revealed
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.28.2003
Suddenly and without warning, the 7th Heaven special effects department shows up for work for the first time in about three years and decides that this scene would play much better to the viewing audience if it was cheesy as hell. So we get a split-screen of the CamRents talking to each other on the phone, as RevCam and his purple shirt come sliding into Annie's father's kitchen. Annie asks about Simon; RevCam says that he's getting ready for his meeting with a Board of Education counselor. Like the awesome mother she is, Annie forgot all about Simon and the upcoming meeting that could determine his future. She freaks out and says that she'll come right back to Glenoak. Unless the Phoenix to Glenoak flight takes less than five minutes, I don't think she's going to make it in time. RevCam tells her that she doesn't need to be there, as all the counselor is going to say is the same stuff they've already told Simon. Still, Annie is worried that a decision about Simon's education will be made when she's not there. RevCam says that this will not happen. They try to convince themselves that they love each other, then hang up without saying goodbye.
You know, if they're going to have so many people in the opening credits, they should lengthen the theme song to match. Perhaps a rap interlude?
I'm chilling in Glenoak with my friends,
When I see a cool family coming 'round the bend.
It's the Camdens, and I'm happy to say,
They love each other in a special way.
Spying, snooping, looking around --
That is how 7th Heaven is found!
Worrrrd to your hag-faced mother. We out, we out.
The Opening Credits Timewaster is slightly more exciting than the usual fare as RevCam frantically searches around the twins' room for a lost shoe, finds it, and puts it on the kid's foot. Eric knocks on Simon's door and asks if he's ready to leave, but there's no answer because Simon's not in his room. Eric frets that his son has run away from home again, but it turns out that he was just in the bathroom. Apparently he was in there putting on the entire bottle of Annie's age-defying concealing cream, as he's got about a pound of it caked on his face. Simon notices the twins and asks if they'll be going to the Board of Education with him. "Yesss. It'll be fuunnn," SamVid responds with a hint of sarcasm in its voice. Wow, that was actually funny. A funny line in this show, delivered well by the Brinos? Excuse me, I need to go look out my window to make sure the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse aren't flying by. Simon says that he'd rather go to the Board of Ed alone. Eric rejects this, because he wants to know what Simon's options are too. Simon doesn't want the CamRents to "help" him make any decisions. The twins ask if they'll get a vote in the matter. Simon says that they won't, and RevCam shouldn't either; even though he's still a minor, Simon thinks that he should be able to make his own decisions, even if, in the case of college, his parents will be the ones paying for his decisions. It's like the complete opposite of Mary. SamVid asks if they're having fun yet. RevCam looks slightly homicidal.