Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sugar, sugar
By Miss Alli | Season 9 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.06.2006
Roadblockers: BJ, Desiree, Dave, Jeremy, Lake, Joseph, Ray, Fran, Joni, Danielle. Desiree heads up what the captioning fairies are calling "Stairway #1." Jeremy follows. Ray follows him. And up to this point, it makes sense, because Desiree was the first to go, and Ray and Jeremy both have reason to believe that they might be able to get to the top ahead of her. Danielle, on the other hand, should not be heading up Stairway #1, as she is, because she's going to wind up behind at least a couple of these people, and probably should have started somewhere else. Bad call, Danielle. Fran, too, is not thinking straight. You don't need to go up as the fifth person when there are ten teams and three staircases. That makes you wait in line unnecessarily. Dave, meanwhile, is all "Fuck Stairway #1," and he is the first person up Stairway #2. You don't even need to be a nerd to figure that out. Lake and Michelle come over and check, and when they see that only Dave is going up that way, Lake follows him. Joseph does, too. Again, wherever you go, you have a decent chance of being with a couple of other people, so everybody who went up third or earlier, I forgive. Joni, however, goes up Stairway #2 fourth, which is completely goofy of her. Again, that's going to make you wait in line, most likely.
BJ goes up Stairway #3, and you will not be surprised that rather than just going up the stairs like everyone else, he starts by jumping over the railing. Do you see how he's so much wackier than everyone else? It's a little something called sucking the marrow out of life, people. If the crowd ever stops looking at you, you die. Tyler comments quite correctly that he's surprised there aren't other teams there. Indeed. It speaks the opposite of well of other people that anyone wound up at a staircase where they were the only ones there.
Eric yells up at Jeremy to start running. Dani yells up at Danielle to beat Jeremy. Eric gets all, "Hold on, sassy filly!" at her. "You've got to make the girls feel good," Eric says, "so you can get in their pants later." Wait, wait -- make that three hours that he can pleasure a woman. I mean...way to hit those duh-ble entendres, dude. ["I have chosen, for my own sanity, to believe that he's being at least partly ironic about this stuff, because a world in which someone is that dense that he thinks that's acceptable is not one in which I wish to live." -- Sars] In fact, Jeremy gets to the top of the stairs first, followed by Ray. Desiree and Danielle are farther down, fairly near each other. Joseph is #1 at the second stairway.
Jeremy begins his rappel. Joseph does, too. Lake has arrived at Roof #2, meaning that he passed Dave. Boo! BJ, of course, is the first to his roof. He starts to head down. Danielle and Desiree have now arrived at Roof #1 and have plunked down to wait. Jeremy finishes the rappel first, and as Eric salutes him as "the best fireman ever," they open their next clue, now in first place. It tells them to head to the bus station, where they will pick tickets for a bus to Brotas. The available departure times are 10:15 AM, 11:15 AM, and 12:15 PM. Then, they'll bus it 150 miles to Brotas, where they'll choose a VW Beetle (old kind, not new kind) and pluck a clue from it. They leave.