Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sugar, sugar
By Miss Alli | Season 9 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.06.2006
Wait, what I totally meant to say was: three and a half hours.
Fran and Barry get on the last bus. Lake and Michelle do, too, noting that they're here after every team but one. And that one? Lisa and Joni, who finally arrive and get their ticket.
At 10:15, the first bus leaves. The teams enjoy the scenery, although I'm not sure Eric and Jeremy are very much a part of that, since this isn't the kind of scenery they give a shit about. At 11:15, the bus full of likeable teams goes. At 12:15, the bus containing this weird mix of teams -- Danielle and Dani, Fran and Barry, Lake and Michelle, and Lisa and Joni -- leaves.
Now, Brotas. The teams pile off the first bus. BJ and Tyler make a wacky noise as they tear their clue open. Aren't they exhausted yet? I know I am. It's like waiting for a four-year-old to get over a Ding-Dong high. The clue reveals this week's Detour, which offers Press It and Climb It as your options. In Press It, you travel to a plantation where you use a press with rollers to extract the juice from raw sugar cane. Then, you distill fermented juice into ethanol, which you pour into your VW. I liked this Detour, partly because I like tasks that remind you of fairly basic facts of life that may be different in different places -- here, the fact that lots of other countries are better at using alternative fuels than we are. In fact, Brazil's heavy promotion of ethanol is a major current events sort of thing that it's nice to see fit fairly smoothly into an episode. It's the kind of apolitical world awareness that the show has sometimes been really good at -- an actual Currently Relevant Thing About Brazil, much more than the way Survivor likes to be like, "Look! There used to be pirates here! Arrrr!"
Anyway, the other Detour option is Climb It, in which the team travels to a waterfall, which they climb using ascenders. Having seen ascenders previously, I swore that if I ever were to find myself in a reality-show competitive situation involving ascenders, I would immediately give up and admit defeat, so I can tell you what option I would be taking. When both members of your team have finished the climb, you get your clue.
The entire Choad Family and Joseph and Monica are climbing. "Back to our roots in these VWs, huh, buddy?" says Tyler. Because they're hippies. Do you get it? Do you? They're afraid you might have missed it. In case you did, BJ responds with a stoner "Yeah, maaaan." Tyler runs into a store to ask directions, and when the guy starts talking to him in Portuguese, he looks kind of dismayed and surprised and disappointed and says, "No comprendo." So apparently he assumed that the guy spoke English? Without asking? I don't know. Outside, as Eric and Jeremy watch Monica run from her car to check on the directions, Jeremy says, "Too bad she has a boyfriend." Eric replies, "Yeah, I'd spank her butt, too." Wait -- four hours, totally, without one muscle cramping up on them. ["I…they can't be serious. They just can't. I mean, a spanking reference?" -- Sars]