Episode Report Card Demian: B | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Hell hath no fury like a Piper bitching.
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.10.2001
Piper scoots up the staircase to consult the BoS while Phoebe lingers to have a little heart-to-heart with Cole. She correctly guesses that the Furies have attacked Cole in the past. He elaborates on their powers. When they go after a bad guy, they force said bad guy to "hear the screams of all his victims." Yeah, I know. How painful could it be for a shoplifter to hear the disinterested "inventory's off" mutterings of a minimum-wage manager at Fashion Bug? Just go with it. Phoebe reassures Cole that he's safe against the power of the Furies, as he's "not the same demon who did those things anymore." Stuff a sock in it, Phoebe. And I'm not talking about your brassiere. Piper's ululating howl of dismay breaks short the "tender" moment, and Phoebe eye-rolls her way to the attic with Cole. Upstairs, Piper stands frozen before the vacant pedestal of the BoS. "Evil stole the Book of Shadows," she rages once the others have joined her. "How did evil steal the Book of Shadows?" "Uh, Piper," Phoebe begins, "promise me you won't overreact." Here's a five, Feebs. Buy a clue. Feebs finds it "feasible" that Rose "borrowed" the Book. Piper's bitch ramps quickly up to about thirteen. "Why did you leave her ALONE with it?" "Because she's our sister," is Phoebe's weak response. "NOT for LONG," Piper clenches, and storms out of the room. Phoebe gives chase as Cole casually flips a chair around and takes a seat. Phoebe's unfettered Fun Bags jostle back into the room. "Are you coming?" "To vanquish your sister?" Cole asks. "No thanks. I think I'll sit this one out." Snort. Phoebe absently jiggles back out.
THAT PLACE WHERE ROSE DOES VERY LITTLE WORK. The Grunge Queen peers at Billy the Clear's complexion. "It's a miracle." "Maybe it was the light from the copy machine," Billy dorks, slowly nodding his head up and down. Snicker. "It's amazing," Lila continues. "I mean, you went and got cute." "Ya think?" he asks as he eases his mail cart through the cubicles. "Totally," Lila agrees. "And then my car loan comes through. And my credit rating is worse than Paige's." This last comes as they pass the lady in question, who smiles all pleased with herself. The smile quickly fades as she returns to the conversation she's been having on the phone regarding the tardy O'Brien application. She tries in vain to get an extension, and so resorts to magic. She recites the following spell "To Promote Compromise" from the BoS in her lap: