Episode Report Card Gwen: D | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Troubled Water
By Gwen | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.21.1999
Help! It's a bomb! Oh, wait. It's just the annoyingly loud opening chords of the theme song. Sorry. Ally McBeal is brought to us by Old Navy this week. That means I get to see the same freaking Performance Fleece advertisement every single commercial break! Great!
After a few seconds of that extra-special "wokka wokka" guitar, we're treated to Vonda singing "New Man in Town." Then we see Billy dirty dancing with Elaine as Georgia makes her way to the Fish-Cage table. Georgia asks Ally if she knows where to get a turkey. "You've already got one," says Ling, indicating Billy. Georgia seems more shocked than disgusted or pissed off. She acts like someone who is watching the rude behavior of a stranger. Ally changes the subject back to turkey. Richard wants to know how any wife could forget "the biggest cooking day of the year." Georgia really wants to know where she can get a pre-cooked turkey because it's "Bleach-Head's favorite holiday." Yes. She's sitting there worrying about getting a turkey for her husband who is dancing with another woman and making frequent '70s moves in order to put his face on the same level as that woman's breasts. Georgia, you are so pitiful, you're actually making my stomach hurt. Ally invites Georgia to her house. I thought Ally lived in an apartment or part of a brownstone or something, but whatever. Ally's having a mini-party including her parents, Nelle, and John, and "Renee invited Whipper." Ally insists that Georgia and Billy attend. Ally is digging into a lime or something with a toothpick that has a little bulbous tip that is not at all phallic-looking or anything. I'm just glad she's not playing in her own mouth. John stage whispers to Ally and indicates Ling's and Richard's sad expressions. Ling is wearing a red sweater that is color-blocked with brownish-red on the chest. She and Richard have no plans so Ally grudgingly invites them, too. They are especially pleased when they learn that they won't have to bring any food along. I guess no one on the show has family anymore except for Ally. Personally, I'd rather stay home and read sale flyers alone than go to a disliked co-worker's Thanksgiving dinner...but that's just me, I guess.
At Ally's pad, someone plops a large turban squash onto the table as Ally informs Whipper that Richard and Ling are coming. In walk John and Nelle. Do I need some gingko bilboa tablets, or did Nelle already mention more than once that she did not like Ally? Oh, well. Ally is wearing a grody, nasty, off-white cowl-neck sweater. It fits her rather snugly and I'm immediately reminded of the undershirt cum brassiere she wore in the infamous car wash scenes. Elaine shows up hauling her karaoke equipment. In walk Ling and Richard. Richard generously hands Ally a box of instant mashed potatoes. Seeing Whipper, Ling remarks, "She's here? Yuck." Farrah Fawcett, oops, I mean Whipper, is wearing one of those black, mock-turtleneck tops with sheer sleeves and upper-chest area built in. She pairs this with black and white spandex pants which bare her midriff a little. She asks Ling what the problem is. She wants to discover "the root of this woman's bitterness."