Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 88 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT The Privilege of Irony
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.05.2014
F/A asks for half of the profits to date and half moving forward, but Preston and Gardner switcheroos, asking for $800k and punitive damages for Rowby stealing the show's song. What's this now?
Alicia: "Rowby, settle. It's negotiations."
Preston: "No, this is the exclusive derivative copyright Rebel Kane gave the studio when they filmed it. Because they, unlike Murray, knew what they were doing. You'll get your five bucks back, don't worry, but you need to pay the Glee studio whenever you sing the song, and also take down that bowling alley video immediately."
Cary: "Alicia, we're bone. We can't make money on this."
Alicia: "Actually we can. Why? Because fuck Will Gardner, that's why."
Cary: "No but like how."
Alicia: "I'll figure it out, buddy. But this is happening."
DEBRIEF
Will and Damian Doyle are such bros that Damian likes to just lounge around on his office couch like some kind of Kalinda housecat, readin' magazines and listening to conversations and basically being his girlfriend slash thug.
Will: "Alicia will play it David and Goliath, because that's what she knows, and because that's what serves her ego. Luckily, Judge Marx goes by the law..."
Damian: "What's the deal with Kalinda?"
Will: "She's pretty awesome but sometimes the show doesn't know what to do with her, and then she generally is the pits."
Damian: "Because why is she following me?"
Will: "Because Diane's jealous of you for being my new work wife. And also because she can smell a rat, and you're clearly some kind of scum. But mostly the first thing."
Damian: "And we don't have the class to even pretend we're not teaming up against her. So basically it's like if you and Derrick Bond were squash and life partners."
Will: "It's okay, we'll talk it out if she rumbles up something on you. Is there anything I should know about?"
Damian: "No. PS, yes."
JUDGE MARX PRESIDING
F/A is asking for a declaratory judgment of non-infringement: Because their client doesn't have the money to bleed the network dry, we have to fall back on the thirteen months between Rowby's cover and the show's cover, regardless of the documentation that's been produced.
Will's thing, and it's both a very Will and a very clever thing, is to keep objecting to every single word she says, without pausing to breathe and making each one sound like a personal attack -- "it's unfortunate that Mrs. Florrick has to rely on emotion rather than logic" is a particularly harsh, genius one -- and eventually she's off her game. He nitpicks, he backtracks, he quibbles, he pisses her right the hell off. Eventually Preston is like, "You know that you are making the judge think you are a crazy person, right?" and Will just shakes his head: That's never the point, when he's in a trial, but it's also her big weakness.
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