Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 88 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT The Privilege of Irony
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.05.2014
Diane: "You are opening a branch in LA suddenly? Without consulting anybody?"
Will: "I consulted with Damian! We were in a bar! It's LA! Magical!"
Diane: "You are like a cancer that has exceeded its Hayflick Limit. You are out of control."
Will: "I can do everything! I don't have to focus on just one thing!"
They call a vote, and Damian babysits sleepy stupid Howard Lyman into voting with Will, but ultimately Diane -- with that Bonus Dick backing her up -- moves for a two-month delay on soliciting new clients. Ten to twelve, she wins, and Will stomps his little feet, and just then gets to run out of the room to talk to Burl Preston instead of bursting into angry little-boy tears like he was about to.
Preston: "Wait, she just... Left?"
Will: "I know. I'm still shocked myself."
Preston: "And she still hates me, I guess. I guess this Fox thing is about me."
Will: "We could easily make it about me. Let me help you fight her."
Preston: "But see, I hate you."
Will: "I hate you too! But the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and Alicia is my number one enemy right now. It's why I have to take over the world, which means making friends with you, to build infrastructure in LA. And also because I'm obsessed with challenging her."
Preston: "I didn't notice your crazy eyes until just now. You got it."
GOV OFC
Eli: "Kalinda Sharma! Oh my God, hi! Hi!"
Kalinda: "Eli. What's up? Why have you brought me into the territories of my enemy."
Eli: "It is for a secret thing I need you to do!"
Kalinda: "No."
Eli: "But it's for Alicia! Kind of."
Kalinda: "Then I'm in."
She demands $500 an hour to investigate this pregnancy, but that's just a gloss on the fact that we all know -- everybody except Eli, probably, knows -- that he had her at "Alicia." So now she will be confirming that Alicia's husband did not have a baby with a monster-lady, in order to be close to Alicia in some fashion neither of them will ever understand.
AKA, exactly the same thing Will is doing.
BOWLING ALLEY
Manager Murray: "Can I get you a milkshake?"
F/A: "No, just your paperwork. Why did you get a compulsory license from Rebel Kane, but not a derivative copyright?"
Murray: "Two reasons. One, I don't know what that is. Two, I didn't know you had to get two things. How many things total should I have gotten?"
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