Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pardon My Past
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.16.2000
Anton gives Pre-Phoebe a potion to drink that will "triple" her power so she can battle her cousins. She slurps it down. Anton tells her to test the result. She points at a crate of liquor and hurls a fireball at it. It explodes in sparks.
Present Halliwell Manor. Phoebe wakes up, coughing. Where is she? Prue tells her she's back at home, she's okay. Phoebe responds: "I was bad. Very, very bad." The hard Ps gape at her.
This Scope commercial -- what the? A man and a woman share a bathroom and a bottle of mouthwash. She carries a cat upstairs while the guy carries a baby downstairs. The toss and turn in separate beds. He lets the dog out and wanders into the yard. The woman meets him there and they do it in the grass. Are they married? Brother and sister? Staying in the same hostel? What? Is from the European ad campaign? Can anyone tell me?
Halliwell Manor. Attic. Phoebe expositions about her adventure in 1924, and how all the sisters lived in the manor as cousins. Prue wonders if they all looked the same. Phoebe says yes. Leo explains that it's probably because Phoebe's soul recognized their souls -- "We all tend to travel in the same circle of family, friends, even enemies in our past lives. That's why our souls keep recognizing each other. So we can find each other. That's what 'soulmates' means." Piper looks uncomfortable, and who wouldn't while listening to this tripe? Phoebe blathers on about having "no control over [her] actions," like she was a "visitor." Then she reiterates her "very, very bad" feelings and admits that she liked "it -- feeling powerful and respected." She asks Leo why she doesn't still have the "kick-ass" fireball-throwing power. Leo explains that if you "screw up, you regress. Your past self must have abused the power, so it was taken away from you." So I guess the Charmed World of the Charmed Ones works like a big celestial game of Chutes and Ladders. And Phoebe broke the cookie jar. Phoebe awkwardly segues about her "hot" power to how "hot" Anton was. Piper suggests that Anton might have been the guy who strangled pre-Phoebe. Phoebe: "Perhaps. Or maybe Past Dan." Piper: "Dan?" Phoebe explains that he was Pre-Piper's husband, and apologizes to Leo. Leo says it's okay, and mumbles something about Piper's past life "mistakes." Piper gapes. Prue smirks. Piper swats her. Phoebe, who's been looking around in boxes and chests all of this time, comes upon Pre-Prue's old camera. She tells Prue about her old profession. Prue wonders what kind of charmed power she had. Phoebe doesn't know, but suspects it was strong, since she had to triple her own power before taking on the Pre-hard Ps. Phoebe suddenly finds a roll of parchment which contains the Halliwell family tree. She unrolls it, and spots the entry for Pre-Phoebe: "P. Russell, July 2, 1894 -- Feb. 17, 1924." Phoebe notes that Pre-Pheebs died on the same day as the current date. And they're both the same age. WHAT? Phoebe is twenty-nine? Did Props screw that up? That would mean the hard Ps are pushing thirty from the other side. Props, hello! What's going on? Anyway, Phoebe gets all dramatic because she thinks she's going to die before the day is over. She remembers the little girl from the past life experience -- Christina Carson -- and decides to have Darryl track her down so she can find out some more about Pre-Phoebe's murder.
Intermezzo Nursing Home. Intermezzo? Who chose a word that means "brief interlude" as a name for a retirement home? Whatever! The Halliwells, with Leo in tow, storm into the old lady's room like they own the place. The old woman, who plays this role like the poor man's Gloria Stuart, takes one look at Phoebe and wails, "My dolly! You took my dolly!" Phoebe loudly and patronizingly assures the woman that it was just "SOMEONE WHO LOOKED LIKE ME." Prue tells Pheebs to let PMGS know that she's the "good Phoebe." The old lady still looks deathly afraid. Phoebe: "I WON'T HURT YOU, I PROMISE." She kneels in front of the lady, and tries to jog the woman's memory about being a little girl in 1924 who "VISITED A SPEAKEASY RUN BY THREE COUSINS." PMGS states that her father was a bartender there who used to take her to the manor after school. And she remembers Phoebe as an "evil witch." She hid on "the landing" and "saw everything" when Pre-Phoebe was murdered. Phoebe asks if she remembers the culprit -- was it Anton? PMGS prattles on about Pre-Phoebe's "pretty necklace" that was ripped right off the neck of the "bad witch." Leo asks PMGS who the murderer was. PMGS wails about her "favorite dolly" some more.