Episode Report Card Jessica: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lovelines
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.15.2003
Joey's. She wants to go to class. Oliver wants to "get with [her]." That is the least sexy euphemism for sex, like, ever. I'd really almost rather a boy asked me if I was interested in riding his jock. Anyway, Joey seems to agree that he's really not working the sweet talk, because she tells him that he's creeping her out with that phrase. She then announces that she doesn't want to talk about sex. "Why?" he asks. Because she's Joey Potter, Oliver, and it makes her uncomfortable. "I get it. I repulse you," Oliver whines. Because nothing's hotter than guilting your girlfriend into sex. Joey assures him that he doesn't repulse her, but she tells him that talking about sex makes her, yes, feel uncomfortable. I'd say something here about how, if you're too uncomfortable to talk about sex, you probably shouldn't be having it, but I'm old, it's late, and I just don't care anymore. This is also the section where I usually complain about how orange Joey is, but there are only so many vitamin C jokes you can make. So, we cut to Audrey in bed, groaning for them to "just do it already and be quiet." Joey rolls her eyes and stomps out. Oliver sits on the bed and eats his cereal. Does he live there now? Like, I know the room is big, but it's not cool to have your boyfriend move into your dorm room. My roommate did that freshman year, and the guy used to walk around without pants on. I mean, totally naked from the waist down. Not just in our room; he did it all over our floor. She also used to change her tampons in front of me, right there in our room. Yeah, that was a tough year. So, Audrey asks Oliver if he wants to make out. "No," Oliver drawls. "Good. That was your test, buddy. You break her heart again and I'm going to kill you. You got it?" she says, then flops back into bed to go back to sleep. I wish I was asleep. Sweet, sweet sleep. How I miss you.
Over at Boston Bay, people are lining up for tickets to the stupid fundraiser. And I'm sorry, but I can't believe how dumb and toothless this particular plotline is. Basically, some hot guy hits on TGED, and he's all, "I have a boyfriend," and then he introduces the hot guy -- whose name is Fred -- to Jack, and Jack is all, "How you doing," and there's some yammering about Fred's good taste and Jack sort of gives him the eye, and then Fred leaves and TGED reflects that he was really nice, and Jack agrees, and I can't believe that this is how they're breaking the two of them up. I feel like I'm in fifth grade all over again.