Episode Report Card Jessica: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lovelines
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.15.2003
Anyway, the next person with a question is TGED. He brings up this absurd seat-saving thing, equating it with cheating, and Dr. Drew wonders if Jack is trying to send TGED "a message," and Jen pipes up that Jack is just being nice to this other boy, and that TGED ought to "forgive and forget." Adam rolls his eyes. "Are you high, missy? You've got to dump this guy and I'm not just saying that because he's a gay," he says. I'd complain about that line, but Adam says shit like that all the time, if I recall my Loveline watching days correctly. And actually, that show was full of ringers, because I saw an actor friend of mine from college on there once, posing a man who could only get it up if his partner was wearing tube socks. Yeah, I don't know who made that story up, either.
Next, Audrey sneaks behind a scrim, ostensibly to ask a question, but really to proposition Dr. Drew. Blandy steps in in the middle of her ridiculous spiel to ask, once again, about his own problem. "Why did this girl rip my heart out?" he asks. Drew decides that this is would be a good time for Jen to give the audience a sample of the kind of high-quality counseling available at the helpline. Jen tells Blandy that "this girl" isn't out to get him, and that she's just confused. Blandy makes a face like, "Duh." Jen continues, saying that "this girl" has "a lot on her plate, and no time for a relationship." And she doesn't want a boyfriend right now! The crowd finally catches on to the fact that she's Blandy's mystery woman, and it makes noise like she's revealed that she's actually a man or something. Dr. Drew wonders what the hell is wrong with her, albeit more nicely, and Jen explains that, actually, Blandy is the ideal man. "He's perfect," she explains, and says that if she were to "start a boy from scratch," he'd end up just like Blandy. "Then why did you break up with him?" Drew asks. Jen flushes and suggests they get back to Joey. Drew looks at these two very screwed-up girls and wonders if either one of them was abused. Oliver helpfully squeals that Pa Witter spent some time in the big house, and then everyone starts talking at the same time, and Jen storms offstage in a huff, where she flings her microphone at Audrey and tells her that she can play host.
This cues up yet more filler. Seriously, this is the fluffiest episode I've ever recapped. There was seriously, like, less than half an hour of action this week. At any rate, there's this whole bit here which covers random questions from the audience and serves only to establish that Audrey is a very good host and that Josh Jackson, who directed this episode, really likes the split screen. Eventually, Audrey wraps the evening up with a perky plug for the Help You Help Me Helpline, and then we get three more minutes of the audience filing out of the auditorium. The script for this episode must really have run short, or it ran long or they had to cut out an enormous hunk of it and had nothing to fill that hole with. At any rate, it feels awfully slight.