Episode Report Card Jessica: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lovelines
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.15.2003
More sitting. Joey and Oliver file into their seats, and he's still yapping about their sex life. Finally, Joey tells him to shut it. He really is spectacularly dense, isn't he?
On the other side of the auditorium, Jack is -- wait, I decided that I'm not recapping a storyline about seat-saving. I'm just not. All you need to know is that TGED is really pissed that Jack gave his seat away, and he makes Fred move his hot little ass and plops down in his seat, pouting and giving Jack dirty looks.
Then Dr. Drew and Adam come onstage, and the crowd claps like it's a Beatles reunion including all four original members and a special appearance by Elvis Presley and John F. Kennedy. Jen does the MC thing, and asks for questions from the audience. No one has any, of course. "Bueller?" Jen asks, plaintively. No, she really said that. In the front row, Audrey wiggles in her seat like she's got crabs and squeals for Jen to pick her. Jen wisely ignores her. Blandy steps up to the plate, announcing that he has a question, and Jen stammers that he's not allowed to ask a question, and Dr. Drew gives her this "girl, please" look and tells him to go for it. And Blandy is all, basically, "What the fuck is up with my girlfriend who dumped me with no warning or explanation at all?" He sniffles that she treats him like "Father Damian," who, he explains, "was a leper." Let's take that as a shout-out to our own delightful Demian, who isn't a leper at all. Adam tells Blandy that his mysterious girlfriend is a headcase. "Run," he says. Jen suggests nervously that they move along. Frankly, I think Blandy ought to take that advice to heart.
Meanwhile, in the audience, Oliver is loudly berating Joey about her unwillingness to get with him. Again. And she tells him to shut it. Again. And he tells her not to tell him to shut it, and then the audience gets just quiet enough so that they can hear him screaming that he doesn't understand why it's so hard for her to talk about sex and yes, the next thing you know, they're onstage. Why, I didn't see that coming at all.
Once they get up there, Joey tells Jen that she's going to kill her, and Dr. Drew starts right in on the psychoanalyzing, but no one cares because no one in the entire audience cares about Oliver anymore. And by "audience," I mean the TV audience. Even Kate Hudson's turned over to American Idol by this point. Oliver, by the way, has just told Dr. Drew that Joey is "emotionally unstable." She points out that Oliver abandoned her twice. At this, Adam announces that he doesn't like the cut of Oliver's jib. Nice boating reference. I don't know if that was intentional, but let's take it as a subtle reminder of the fact that Pacey didn't pressure Joey to have sex, even though they spent an entire summer on a boat, while Oliver has her onstage talking about her hang-ups in front of a bunch of strangers. That was a nice, subtle moment. Go, writers! Next, Adam quite rightly points out that you can't expect a girl you've abandoned twice to trust you. "Are you high, son? No wonder she's cut you off," he says. Dr. Drew asks if abandonment is a big issue for Joey. Jen nods knowingly beside her, but Joey denies this, which is ridiculous, because of course it is. Drew asks about Joey's dad, and she's all, "That's none of your business," and he's all, "Lots of people have issues with their dads," and Jen pats Joey and assures her that she's very "normal in her abnormality." This show is so bad. Actually, that's not really fair. It's most uneven. Last week was really good. This week...isn't even the same show.