Episode Report Card Demian: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Suck This
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.17.2002
Manor kitchen. A solemn and silent Piper dries dishes at the sink as the Dolt dolts in to place some leftovers in the refrigerator. He tries to engage in fluffy banter, but she obviously has some weighty matters on her mind. However, she gamely attempts to respond to him as she moves to the center island, noting that the Manor "is so quiet" now that Phoebe and Cole have fled to their aerie. "Everybody I grew up with is gone," she states wistfully. Wow. And it's all Phoebe's fault, isn't it? Phoebe killed their mother through her sheer stupidity, she killed their grandmother with her wanton shoplifting, and then she killed The Late Lamented with that savage contract renegotiation before running away with her boy-toy. With that track record, Piper'd best give some serious consideration to vanquishing Phoebe's sorry ass.
So I'm being a little revisionist. Sue me.
The Dolt crosses to Piper and embraces her, promising to fill her up with baby after baby so they make the Manor "noisy again with kids -- people who will grow up with us." Here's where I'd inform him in no uncertain terms to keep the little Dolt as far away from me as possible at all times, but Piper's a bit more polite. She merely smiles and leans in for a kiss. Gee. Do you think she's hiding something from him? Raige clomps in, squeezed into a pink tube top that's two sizes too small over a denim mini that's five inches too short. She powers over to the coffeepot, apologizing blithely for the interruption. The Dolt tells her it's okay -- he's late for a meeting with The Powers That Be, anyway. "There's been an upsurge in demonic activity," he explains, "and the Elders want to figure out why." Jesus. These morons make Dubya look like a polymath. It's been three months, people. Three. Months. Bah. The Dolt orbs out after pecking Piper on the lips. Raige, not nearly as retarded as her brother-in-law, realizes Piper has some unvoiced issues, and calls her on them. Piper sighs and dismisses her concerns of the past few days as "silly." Aunt Flo was a tad late in arriving for her monthly visit, and Piper "got [her] hopes up" as a result. Raige says it for me: Piper's concerns aren't silly. After all, she's not getting any younger, is she? Sorry. That second bit was just me. Piper crosses back to the sink, worrying that perhaps she got knocked around one too many times by a demon, and now her uterus is broken. Raige brushes this off, assuring Piper that sooner or later she'll get that bun she's been longing for right in her oven where it belongs. She just needs to be patient. After all, isn't Raige "living proof of the magic that happens when Whitelighters and witches get together"? I know. Ew. But McGowan improbably sells it. "The sooner you stop worrying about it," she says, "the sooner I will be an aunt." Piper bats Raige on the thigh and says, "Thanks." Raige belts Piper back in the arm and smiles, "You're welcome." The two nudge shoulders and grin. God help me, but that was sweet.