Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | 5 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Pilot
By Jessica | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.27.2006
As soon as Amanda leaves her alone, Betty takes a moment to recite the mantra we've all seen in the ads two hundred times: "You are an attractive, confident businesswoman." She then, of course, walks right into the glass wall encloses the conference room currently housing every single person Betty's going to work with. Everyone turns and stares. I actually have to cover my eyes a little bit. It's just so embarrassing, and Betty's so sympathetic. It's not fun when embarrassing things happen to people you like. It's much more fun when they happen to, like, Paris Hilton. "Are you okay?" Daniel asks her when she comes in. He seems legitimately concerned, and also a bit confused by her poncho. After Betty assures everyone that she's fine, and grabs herself a seat at the back of the room, Daniel gets back to his spiel: the staff is very talented, he's happy to be there, etc, etc and so forth. Enter Wilhelmina and her assistant, a flamboyant gay in a pink sweater vest and a bright yellow tie. Wilhelmina is not particularly pleased that they began the staff meeting without her. I, however, am totally pleased by her white trench, dramatic gold choker, and pompadour the likes of which I have not seen since the halcyon days of Dylan McKay. "Marc. Gift," she commands tells her gay, who gives a package to Daniel. He accepts it, and tries to get on with his speech. "Aren't you going to open it?" Wilhelmina asks. Daniel gives in, and finds a seriously really hideous Swarovski crystal tulip, engraved "Danny." Wilhelmina explains that it's meant to commemorate his first day. "It's 'Daniel,' not 'Danny,'" he tells her. "What? I'm hellaciously upset, Marc," Wilhelmina says dryly, sounding about as upset as a woman ordering a pizza. ["That probably really would upset Wilhelmina." -- Wing Chun] Marc starts to apologize. "Shh. Purge this from memory," Wilhelmina says. I must admit: I sort of love her.
Daniel tries yet again to get this meeting on track, but Wilhelmina interrupts to announce that they need to discuss "the Fabia cosmetics supplement." Apparently, it's "the biggest ad buy of the year, and the only paid layout editorial ever works on." Wilhelmina exposits, "Given the new circumstances, Fabia needs to sign off on the spread before we go to print. Obviously, we'll all here to help you succeed, and we've all got plenty of ideas, so I think we all need to go back to work to make sure that this, your very first issue with your name on the masthead, SPARKLES." And with this, Wilhelmina claps her hands and dismisses his meeting. Well played, Wilhelmina. Well played. As they leave, Evil Marc leans over and says, "KILLER poncho," to poor sweet Betty, who thanks him. As he turns away from her, Evil Marc makes the "gag me" face. (Apparently, the actor refers to his character as "Evil Marc," and ever since I read that on the forums, I've been unable to think of his character as anything but. I wonder if this means there will also be a Good Marc, and perhaps that they will be twins. I presume one of them will assume the other's identity at some point, and perhaps throw the other in a well.) As everyone files out of the meeting, Daniel just looks shell-shocked. Betty taps him on the shoulder and introduces herself. "I'm your new assistant," she says. He makes a subtle "of COURSE you are" face.