Episode Report Card M. Giant: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Edgar, Dead! Grr.
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 03.05.2006
Carrie lets herself into the ventilation room all by herself, like a chick in a horror movie. But instead of seeing her recent sex partner strung up, beheaded, and castrated, all that's there is a ventilation fan with a missing grate, and a closed canister of Sentox nerve gas sitting in the corner. And unlike the chick in a horror movie, Carrie has a cell phone. Which she whips out, but before she gets through to anyone, Fucked-up Accent Guy materializes from the shadows behind her (it's a very cool shot) and sticks a knife in her back. So it's kind of like a horror movie after all. It's 6:38:53.
Commercials. I'm not recapping the X-Men trailer and you can't make me.
It's 6:43:03. I don't know what Fucked-up Accent Guy has been doing for the past five minutes, but he's just now getting around to setting his gas canister inside the ventilation duct under the spinning fan. He activates the timer -- starting at fifteen minutes this time, because they didn't learn anything from their failure at the hospital -- and takes it off of the canister as it ticks down.
Out on the floor, Spawn comes downstairs and finds a busy Chloe, who's acting even busier than she really is in a really sketchy way. As you'll recall, they used to work together, so even Spawn is able to read what's up: "You knew my father was alive, didn't you? For a year and a half, you've known. He trusted you." Spawn's lipstick is way lighter than it was before. Chloe says Kiefer had to trust her, since she was one of the people who helped fake his death. Spawn tells her not to make excuses, and that gets Chloe going. She says that roughly 2.5 of the four people who knew Kiefer was alive are dead now. Kim is surprised and saddened to learn of Michelle's death, and she conveys her grief with a heartfelt eye-roll. Chloe adds, "The only reason I'm alive is because your dad found me in time." She suggests Spawn cut Kiefer some slack. And it looks like after being told the same thing by only three people, Spawn is finally beginning to get the message. Has she been to college or something?
Buchanan's really making the rounds this hour. He comes into McGill's cell at 6:44:56 with the allegedly sad news that McGill's sister's dead body has been found by the LAPD. Lynn reacts in confusion and disbelief, but Buchanan says there's no mistake. "My God," McGill says, like this is just one more irritating thing that's happened to him today. He thinks Loser Boyfriend did it, but Buchanan thinks that's unlikely, since Loser Boyfriend is just as dead. And then Buchanan asks whether McSibling was involved in drug dealing or organized crime. McGill admits she was "a pretty serious user," but too stupid to be into anything deeper. He wonders why Buchanan asks, and Buchanan answers, "The killings were clearly the work of a professional." And that's when it hits McGill. He tells Buchanan he has to talk to the LAPD investigator immediately: "They have to search the apartment, see if my...keycard...was there." Except he swallows the word "keycard" like Fonzie trying to apologize. Buchanan is surprised and pissed to hear that Loser Boyfriend stole McGill's keycard, and asks why McGill didn't report it. That's McGill's cue to sound the cry of the truly busted: "I'm reporting it now! We don't have time to argue about this." He tells Buchanan to see if anyone's used the card to breach security in the past four hours. Buchanan's already dialing his cell phone.