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Spawn's back at CTU, and she's got her sketchy new shrink boyfriend with her. The Bauers have an emotional if not joyous reunion. Which gets cut short so that Kiefer can go torture Henderson for a while. Also at CTU: Bierko's henchman, Fucked-up Accent Guy, who gained access by reprogramming McGill's key card. And he's sneaking around the ventilation system with a big briefcase, which can't be good. As for President Logan, he gets yet another chance to fold before the very person who wants him to do something. In this case, it's Vice President Leland Palmer, who's all gung-ho to preemptively declare martial law. So a worried Novick manages to get the Logans talking again to try and head off that nonsense. Presumably we'll see how that plays out in a later episode. Despite some tastefully filmed agony, Henderson's still not talking, aside from saying a bunch of stuff that only makes Kiefer want the goods even more. But all that gets put on hold when the planned nerve gas attack on CTU...succeeds! The ventilation fans blow deadly Sentox throughout the building before they can evacuate, killing dozens. The only ones who survive are those who make it to sealed-off areas in time. These rooms include the clinic, where Henderson and Tony are; the upper office, where Buchanan holes up; and the Situation Room, which contains Kiefer, Spawn, her sketchy boyfriend, Audrey, Chloe, and a handful of extras. Oops, did I forget Edgar? Well, so did they. And so the big guy gets the old Silent Clock Salute at the season's midpoint. Farewell, Edgar; we hardly understood ye. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
The most interesting thing about this episode's previouslies is that one of the scenes is actually from two episodes back. That never happens. But I guess they wanted to get their money's worth out of that exploding limo shot.
Fucked-up Accent Guy is finishing up his business inside McSibling's apartment. Now dressed in a dapper suit, he picks up McGill's keycard off the table, collects his spent casings, and walks out, careful not to touch anything else. As he leaves the building and climbs into a parked mega-jeep of some sort, I notice that Elisha Cuthbert's name isn't in the credits, either as a regular (like Carlos Bernard) or as a guest star (like Jude Ciccolella, a.k.a. Novick). It's either an oversight, or someone decided that "credit" is the wrong word. Inside the mega-jeep is a little computer terminal of some kind. Fucked-up Accent Guy feeds McGill's keycard into a slot on the front, and calls Bierko as he gets ready to do his thing. Bierko says that couriers are delivering canisters as they speak, and he plans to launch further attacks after Fucked-up Accent guy is finished at CTU. They hang up, and it only takes a moment for Fucked-up Accent Guy to PhotoShop his own head onto the electronic picture of McGill that's stored on the keycard. Well, that was easy. I can see why Fucked-up Accent Guy didn't have twenty grand to give to Loser Boyfriend after springing for that computer unit.
Logan and Novick are getting yet another teleconferenced briefing from CTU. The President's glad to hear that the hospital attack was thwarted, but not so glad that he doesn't get all pissy about the lack of progress in seeking the remaining eighteen canisters. Buchanan informs the prez that Henderson has been recaptured and is on his way back to CTU now. Novick recognizes Henderson's name as a former CTU employee. Buchanan says Henderson's not cooperating, but is being brought in for "further interrogation." That phrase gives Logan pause, but he's clearly grown a pair since last season, because he just tells Buchanan to keep him posted before signing off. He'd obviously much rather say, "Keep me in the dark," but that wouldn't look too good.
Buchanan turns around to see Carrie waiting for him in the doorway of the Situation Room. Okay, so I was wrong about us never seeing Carrie again, but not by much, as you'll see. Anyway, she tells Buchanan that Tony wants to see him -- which Buchanan blows off -- and informs Audrey that Kim Bauer has arrived. Which means the place is due to get blown up at any moment. I'm kidding, but again, not by much. Audrey stands and looks across the floor at the giant head of blonde hair that's just entered, to a tall, thin, goateed dude. They're in the distance now, so I'll save further observations for later. Audrey tells Carrie to park Spawn of Kiefer in the Field Ops office. The music gets sad. Not as sad as me, though. It's 6:04:55 as Buchanan gives Audrey an opening to clue in new viewers by asking, "What's Kim Bauer doing here?" Audrey says Kiefer asked her to bring Spawn in. "Does she know?" Buchanan asks. "Not yet," Audrey answers. Buchanan asks who Spawn's date is, and Audrey says she'll find out, dialing her cell phone as she leaves the room.
The call rings through to Kiefer's cell phone as he's driving Henderson back to CTU. Presumably Mrs. H. is enjoying the ambulance ride that Kiefer arranged for her. And arranged for her to need, as well. Audrey tells Kiefer that Spawn's in the house, and that they haven't talked yet. "Good," Kiefer says. "I want her to hear it from me." Audrey, speaking from the experience of this morning, thinks it might be easier for Spawn if she hears the news before she sees Kiefer for herself. Kiefer reluctantly agrees. Which is too bad, because that's a scene I would have liked to see:
Spawn: I wonder what they want to tell me about my dad.
Enter Kiefer.
Kiefer: Hello, Kim.
Spawn: Hi, Dad.
Kiefer: Sweetheart, there's something I need to tell you.
Spawn: What is it?
Kiefer: I'm not really dead.
Spawn: Oh, my God! Are you sure?
So thanks a lump, Audrey, for cheating me out of that moment. Kiefer makes sure that Audrey knows to tell her that he kept Spawn in the dark for her own protection, because it's never too late to cover your own ass. Audrey agrees and hangs up.
Of course Henderson, in the backseat of the CTUmobile, heard Kiefer's entire side of his incredibly emotional and vulnerable conversation, and sees an opening. "After you died," he says, "Chase [formerly known in this space as Special Agent Charlie Brown] left her and she hit bottom. Did you know that?" Hell, I recapped it. Kiefer tries to shut Henderson out, but Henderson says, "Miriam and I were there for Kim when you weren't. Whatever you may think of me, Miriam and I love that girl." And now Kiefer has a whole raft of new things to think about Henderson. Amazingly enough, he doesn't change his mind and decide to drive Henderson home.
Spawn is currently hanging out in an upper office at CTU, staring out over the floor. Her hair is really long now. It's pretty, but it's too long for her short face and therefore kind of makes her look like a Muppet. "Both my parents died here," she says. "I swore I'd never come back to this place." False premise, false conclusion. That's our Spawn. The guy with her -- who turns out to be C. Thomas Howell, whose casting is yet another step along this show's rapid transformation into VH1's I Love the '80s -- offers to leave with her right then, but just then Audrey arrives. She and Spawn obviously know each other, even though Audrey, as you recall, kept her relationship with Kiefer hidden from her own family until the day before the poor bastard "died." In case you forgot why Audrey started bugging me in the first place. Spawn introduces Ponyboy as "Barry Landes." Spawn asks what's up, and with a pointed glance at Barry, Audrey suggests they talk in private. There's the little song and dance where Spawn says she wants Barry to stay, and there's some mild sparring over it until Barry says, "It's okay," like he's going to leave to defuse the disagreement. And then he stays put, which is kind of hilariously rude. Anyway, Audrey doesn't waste a lot of time getting to the point about Kiefer: "He's alive." That's clearly all Spawn hears, even as Audrey goes on to explain the reasons for Kiefer faking his own death and not telling his daughter in order to protect her. "I didn't know either until this morning," Audrey concludes lamely. Spawn's just standing there with her mouth open, but it clamps shut when Audrey tells her that Kiefer's on his way to CTU right now. Better hope he doesn't get killed in a car accident en route.
It's 6:08:22, and, believe it or not, there's a new face at Not Camp David. Well, new to this show, anyway. It's Ray Wise, the erstwhile Leland Palmer from Twin Peaks, and he's still wearing his fifties hairdo from Good Night and Good Luck. He waits with a staffer in the Situation Room until Logan arrives with Novick in tow. Novick is clearly surprised to see this gentleman, whom he addresses as "Mr. Vice President." I hope nobody will be too confused if I refer to him by Logan's old nickname of Veep. Apparently the new Veep canceled his big day in Salt Lake City to help out. In the city where terrorists are running around with eighteen canisters of nerve gas. Was this the Speaker of the House's idea? "I think you'll agree we need all hands on deck to deal with this Sentox situation," Logan tells Novick. Okay, I've been saying that all along, but for God's sake, Logan is the President of the United States. Since when does "all hands" constitute "you and me and the Vice President"? I give up. The Veep takes over the little meeting, saying that the plan they have in place isn't going to cut it. He's done his own casualty estimates, and he predicts 400,000 deaths. Logan is horror-struck, but Novick is more skeptical. "That's a considerable upward estimate," he errs. He wants to know how the Veep arrived at it. Instead of explaining, the Veep gets all shirty and defensive.
Before the situation can deteriorate further, Logan asks what the Veep suggests, and here it is: a preemptive declaration of martial law in the greater L.A. area. Swell. Logan already looks like he's considering it, but Novick rubs his big bald head and says martial law is only to be used as a last resort: "Every study we've done shows it would incite more unrest, not less." Besides, they need approval from Congress. The Veep says they don't if they don't call it martial law. Oh, well, that's all right then. Novick argues against it some more, but Logan is already more than halfway to his decision, especially after the Veep informs him that he's already called the Pentagon and put troops on standby. Well, that was presumptuous. And you know, five years ago we would have laughed our asses off if this show tried to present us with a Vice President so ballsy. And I guess I'm laughing now, but for different reasons. Novick tries to argue against theVeep's plan some more, but Logan has already come down on the Veep's side. Let's face it: the Veep is charismatic, bossy, and intimidating. And in the words of Miss Alli, the President simply has no defense against that demographic. He says they don't have time to monkey around with Congress. "If CTU can't find this man Bierko, we're going to get hit. It would be smart to have control of the streets." And it would be smart to have control of your bowels, Chuck, but obviously that isn't going to happen either.
It's 6:11:14 as the CTUmobile carrying Kiefer and Henderson pulls into the CTU parking lot. Kiefer opens the door for Henderson, who's bluffing that he'd get total immunity if he asked, but he's not even going to. "You don't want to know what I know," Henderson blusters. "You get me to talk and you'll just be opening Pandora's box." Kiefer's not impressed, even though I think that's the most literate thing anyone's said on this show in five years. Knowing Kiefer as well as he does, Henderson has to know that this kind of talk is only going to make Kiefer more focused on getting him to sing. Which is probably exactly what Henderson wants. Poor Kiefer and his big, Henderson-shaped blind spot. I find it amusing. Of course, I could be totally wrong and everything is exactly as it seems, but I like to give the show the benefit of the doubt when possible. Me and my big, 24-shaped blind spot. As they walk toward the building, they're met in the parking lot by a guy named Burke, who must be the new Eric the Torture Guy. I don't know how Kiefer knew his name, since Kiefer hasn't been back to CTU before today, but whatever. Burke's flanked by a couple of Redshirts, who take over the task of frog-marching Henderson towards the entrance. Kiefer pauses to admire the pretty sunset before following. And it is quite pretty. I do enjoy the rare scenes on this show that were clearly shot at a specific time of day. Of course, it could also be a sunrise playing the part of a sunset, for all I know. Stupid blind spot.
The place obviously has more than one entrance, because Fucked-up Accent guy is using one right now, and he appears to be all alone except for the Redshirt stationed there. The Redshirt asks for Fucked-up Accent Guy's keycard, and he obligingly hands over the one that was stolen from McGill four and a half hours ago, before Bierko was even introduced, before the plan to kill Suvarov was even mentioned. Bierko may not have a great success rate, but he clearly inherited Habib Marwan's ability to travel through time and develop backup plans that have backup plans. The Redshirt swipes McGill's card through the reader, and Fucked-up Accent Guy's photo pops up on the screen over a name I can't read, but which is definitely not Lynn McGill's. Fucked-up Accent Guy cuts some shifty looks at the guard in front of him and the one on the mezzanine above, clearly ready to rock and roll if it comes to that. But the guard just says, "All clear, sir." Fucked-up Accent Guy smirks and enters, very large briefcase in hand. Is it worth hoping that he just packed a big lunch? It's 6:12:52.
6:17:03. On the CTU floor, Chloe gets off the phone and announces that Curtis is on his way back from the hospital. Audrey pretends to care. This is the last mention of Curtis for the hour, by the way, and he doesn't appear at all. Which is probably just as well for him. Kiefer shows up on the floor and calls Audrey over. He asks what Spawn's reaction was to the shocking news that he's alive. "She's a little confused," Audrey says, which is the exact opposite of shocking news. Audrey warns Kiefer that Spawn is with someone who might be her boyfriend, and gives his name. She also tells Kiefer that Spawn is up in the Field Ops office. Kiefer looks up and sees a blonde mane pacing on the other side of a glass wall. He thanks Audrey and heads up to meet his daughter. I wouldn't go up there empty-handed if I were you, Kiefer.
He gets as far as the outside of the glass door before she spots him. He lingers outside for a moment, possibly waiting to make sure she doesn't have a gun. She tries to keep it together while Barry looks worried. Finally Kiefer comes in and softly says, "Hey." Spawn's all cold as she says she doesn't know what he expects from her. She asks why he didn't tell her he was alive. Just as Audrey did earlier, he explains that such knowledge would have put her in danger. I don't know why everybody is universally assuming that that would be such a bad or unprecedented thing. Kiefer says he had no choice. "You could have chosen to trust her," Barry butts in, all angry and unsolicited. Kiefer is so taken aback that he totally forgets to kill Barry on the spot. He just says he wants to talk to Spawn alone. Barry refuses, and keeps bitching at Kiefer for his selfishness. "Kim," Kiefer says in that tone that means, "If I weren't already in such deep shit with you, this punk would have been dead thirty seconds ago." Spawn obligingly dismisses Barry, who leaves the room. "Don't judge him," Spawn tells her dad. "He was there when no one else was." That knocks Kiefer off his high horse for a second. He rallies and claims, "The most painful thing that I've ever been through was walking away from you. Even more painful than losing your mother. But it was the only way to make sure that you would be safe." Spawn's not impressed, and she unleashes a little psychobabble of her own: "There's something wrong with people like you. You can't hold on to anything." And yet she keeps dating versions of her father. First there was Miguel in Season Two, who could beat the crap out of people; then Chase, who was also a field agent and who also bailed (taking his kid with him, I hope); and now Barry, a fellow '80s Brat-Packer. Talk about a pattern. Anyway, she says she's glad he's alive, but "I can't give you what you want right now." I hope that's not because she gave it all to Henderson. Kiefer says he understands, all hangdog and poor-me.
Barry's still lurking outside one door to the room, and Audrey shows up outside the other. Kiefer apologizes and takes a step towards Spawn, but she tells him to just go, and he stops. Then Audrey sticks her head in, saying, "Burke needs you in Holding." I bet he does. I even rewound it a couple of times to make sure she didn't say Burke needs him for holding. Spawn says she and Barry have a plane to catch. Kiefer begs her to stay a little longer, and she agrees to talk to Barry. Kiefer says he'll be right back. She doesn't turn to watch him go, so we have a clear view of her face as she "tries" not to "cry."
It's 6:22:02, and Fucked-up Accent Guy is making his way through the bowels of CTU, using a Game-Boy map of the facility for reference. McGill's keycard lets him into a dark, locked room. Pretty much the only feature in here that you need to know about is the giant fan spinning behind a metal grate. Heavens, what do you suppose Fucked-up Accent Guy could possibly be up to?
Tony is now sitting up on the edge of his bed, and I have to give the hair people props, because his bed-head in the back is truly spectacular. Of course, it should be fried off completely considering that it was engulfed in flame less than twelve hours ago, but this is Tony we're talking about, after all. A nurse delivers his meds. And it's nice to see that torture isn't confined to the interrogation rooms; where's the fucking morphine drip? Oh, right, he ripped it out. Never mind. Buchanan enters, and Tony tries to get him to explain what's going on. Buchanan doesn't want to say. "There's nothing you can do," he points out. Tony snaps that he knows. "Look at me, for God's sake!" Yes, twelve hours after being blown into tiny pieces, he can barely walk. Must be getting old. But he still wants to know who killed Michelle. All Buchanan will say is that "Michelle's death was part of a bigger plan to supply terrorists with Sentox nerve gas." Tony asks who's behind it. Buchanan could probably calm Tony down a little right now if he answered, "A bunch of dead guys," but noooo, he's got to bring up Henderson. Tony remembers Henderson too, and he tells Buchanan not to let Henderson cut a deal. Buchanan agrees, and leaves Tony alone to down his meds. Doesn't look like they're working yet. That's probably because he broke them down and sweated them out in less time than it took me to write this sentence.
At 6:25:02, Kiefer, Audrey, and a Redshirt stand in an observation room. And what are they observing? It's Henderson, completely strapped down to a dentist's chair in a diagonal cruciform posture, looking like he's about to get probed by aliens. Remember, we're the good guys. Burke is in there with him, his eye on some kind of monitor. To kill the time, Kiefer asks what Audrey knows about Spawn's date. All Audrey can say is that Barry is registered as a clinical psychologist. "She was his patient?" Kiefer grits in barely controlled fury. Wow, he was just trying to make idle conversation, and now he has new fuel for his rage before he enters an interrogation. Bonus! Burke says over the intercom, "He's ready." Kiefer looks at Henderson's defiant face, and explains what we're about to see: "Whatever he's not telling us is important. He knows what's coming. And he's willing to tolerate an inhuman amount of pain. Open the door," he tells the guard. And then he's in the room with Henderson, leaving Audrey alone to observe some more of the torturing she hates so much. I wonder what vitally important job she's putting off to see this. ["I'm way back on the fact that we're supposed to buy the nimrod from Secret Admirer as a shrink. Dear show: Hmmm…no." -- Sars]
In the interrogation room, there's a long, silent moment between teacher and student, which Kiefer breaks. He says he believes that Henderson is doing what he thinks is best for the country, but it's not up to him. Henderson smiles and says, "Good, Jack. Disarm your subject's resolve by showing empathy and respect for his agenda." Kiefer's not amused. It must be frustrating to have to try and interrogate the guy who taught you all of your techniques. Although I would think that even given Kiefer's past hiatuses from CTU, he would have done a better job than Henderson of keeping up with the newest literature. Henderson says he's really sorry, but he can't tell Kiefer anything. Kiefer backs away as the music gets all eerily Lynchian and tells Burke, "Start it." He rejoins Audrey in the observation room, and they watch in silence as Burke preps a syringe and injects the contents into Henderson's IV tube. Because torture is really nothing if not clean, sterile, and strictly controlled. Henderson's face contorts in agony. Audrey watches like this is something she needs to see for her own good, even though she really doesn't want to. I guess she figures that if she and Kiefer are going to make a go of it, she's going to have to take an interest in the things he loves doing. Kiefer just watches his old boss impassively. And the student becomes the master, he thinks. Bitch. It's 6:27:52.
6:32:03. It's full dark at Not Camp David, and FLOTUS is outside having a smoke. And before you ask: yes, she's changed her clothes again. No sooner has she lit up than Novick scampers up to her. "If this is about Aaron, it doesn't concern you," she preempts. Novick eagerly agrees, and says that's not what he's there to talk about. Somewhat disarmed, she asks what's up. Novick says that Logan needs her. Instead of recognizing how hard that must be for Novick to say, FLOTUS just scoffs at the very thought. I suppose the President did let her get almost-blown-up about a hundred minutes ago, so she's allowed to be a little prickly still. Novick sees her point, but says, "I was with him when he got down on his knees and prayed." FLOTUS seems a little touched that Logan did anything of the sort. Novick leaves out the embarrassing fact that he was kneeling as well; his need for FLOTUS's help is critical, but not desperate. Novick continues laying it on, and we can see that he's getting through to her, even though he's talking to her back. Before she turns to face him, she composes herself and, making a big show of cutting through the crap, asks Novick what he wants from her. Novick sits down to her and tells her that Vice President Gardner (a name! thank you!) is trying to talk Logan into declaring martial law. For once, Novick and FLOTUS agree on something, namely that that's a really bad idea. He presses home his case: "All I know is that the President is listening to Hal Gardner. And it will only help the country to have him listening to you as well." FLOTUS takes this in. After the morning she had, the draw of being listened to is still powerful.
6:35:07. At CTU, Fucked-up Accent Guy is fiddling with a computer terminal in his dingy back room. Apparently that stolen keycard came with McGill's system login and password, because Fucked-up Accent Guy is able to gain access to the computer application that controls the building's ventilation system and shut the whole thing down. A red warning screen pops up on the monitor. I'm sure no one will notice.
Out on the floor, someone notices almost immediately. It's Carrie, who just happened to have a schematic of the ventilation system pulled up on her monitor at the time. Confused, she gets up and walks over to Edgar, who's busy rattling off orders to his underlings. Yes, you read that right; it seemed weird to me too. Carrie interrupts him to tell him about the trouble flag that just popped up in one of the environmental systems. Edgar is too harried to care about that right now, and Carrie says, "You don't have to snap at me. I just thought someone should check it out." "Then check it out," Edgar snaps. She turns and walks out. Edgar calls out to her, but she keeps walking, making a mental note to thank Chloe for getting her reinstated. Now she's a doormat of a doormat. How could her life possibly get worse?
Although Fucked-up Accent Guy "shut down" the ventilation system, that fan in the room with him is still blowing. Perhaps in the other direction now. He's got his giant briefcase open, and if that is his lunch, it's the biggest damn Thermos full of chicken noodle I've ever seen. But I think it's more likely that I'm looking at a nerve gas canister. He affixes one of those timer thingies to the side of it and plugs in a couple of USB connectors. Then he pulls out a battery-powered screwdriver and gets to work removing the metal grate from in front of the fan.
Logan is standing outside, staring up at the night sky and looking like the task is taxing his faculties. It's 6:36:52 as he turns to find his wife wandering towards him. And then the wuss turns his back on her again as she comes closer, using the slowness of her approach to gather his courage for the impending encounter. Finally she comes up behind him and puts a hand on his shoulder. He asks for forgiveness, they make up, blah blah blah, and she tells him to get back to work. "The country needs you," she says. I don't know, I'm sure the country has plenty of amateur astronomers. Anyway, we're done with them for the hour and I can't seem to be sad about that.
Carrie lets herself into the ventilation room all by herself, like a chick in a horror movie. But instead of seeing her recent sex partner strung up, beheaded, and castrated, all that's there is a ventilation fan with a missing grate, and a closed canister of Sentox nerve gas sitting in the corner. And unlike the chick in a horror movie, Carrie has a cell phone. Which she whips out, but before she gets through to anyone, Fucked-up Accent Guy materializes from the shadows behind her (it's a very cool shot) and sticks a knife in her back. So it's kind of like a horror movie after all. It's 6:38:53.
Commercials. I'm not recapping the X-Men trailer and you can't make me.
It's 6:43:03. I don't know what Fucked-up Accent Guy has been doing for the past five minutes, but he's just now getting around to setting his gas canister inside the ventilation duct under the spinning fan. He activates the timer -- starting at fifteen minutes this time, because they didn't learn anything from their failure at the hospital -- and takes it off of the canister as it ticks down.
Out on the floor, Spawn comes downstairs and finds a busy Chloe, who's acting even busier than she really is in a really sketchy way. As you'll recall, they used to work together, so even Spawn is able to read what's up: "You knew my father was alive, didn't you? For a year and a half, you've known. He trusted you." Spawn's lipstick is way lighter than it was before. Chloe says Kiefer had to trust her, since she was one of the people who helped fake his death. Spawn tells her not to make excuses, and that gets Chloe going. She says that roughly 2.5 of the four people who knew Kiefer was alive are dead now. Kim is surprised and saddened to learn of Michelle's death, and she conveys her grief with a heartfelt eye-roll. Chloe adds, "The only reason I'm alive is because your dad found me in time." She suggests Spawn cut Kiefer some slack. And it looks like after being told the same thing by only three people, Spawn is finally beginning to get the message. Has she been to college or something?
Buchanan's really making the rounds this hour. He comes into McGill's cell at 6:44:56 with the allegedly sad news that McGill's sister's dead body has been found by the LAPD. Lynn reacts in confusion and disbelief, but Buchanan says there's no mistake. "My God," McGill says, like this is just one more irritating thing that's happened to him today. He thinks Loser Boyfriend did it, but Buchanan thinks that's unlikely, since Loser Boyfriend is just as dead. And then Buchanan asks whether McSibling was involved in drug dealing or organized crime. McGill admits she was "a pretty serious user," but too stupid to be into anything deeper. He wonders why Buchanan asks, and Buchanan answers, "The killings were clearly the work of a professional." And that's when it hits McGill. He tells Buchanan he has to talk to the LAPD investigator immediately: "They have to search the apartment, see if my...keycard...was there." Except he swallows the word "keycard" like Fonzie trying to apologize. Buchanan is surprised and pissed to hear that Loser Boyfriend stole McGill's keycard, and asks why McGill didn't report it. That's McGill's cue to sound the cry of the truly busted: "I'm reporting it now! We don't have time to argue about this." He tells Buchanan to see if anyone's used the card to breach security in the past four hours. Buchanan's already dialing his cell phone.
It's Chloe who picks up the call out on the floor, and Buchanan urgently orders her to check the gate logs to see if anyone used McGill's key card. "Isn't Lynn standing right to you?" Chloe wonders, and Buchanan snaps, "Chloe, do it!" Chloe's efficiency doesn't seem to be hurt by being talked to the way she talks to everyone else, and she quickly discovers that McGill's card was indeed used at the "executive entrance" less than an hour ago. "Lock down CTU, now!" Buchanan barks, and leaves Holding with one last dirty look at McGill. Chloe calls someone to initiate a lockdown. Because when deadly nerve gas is swirling around, you'd hate to have somebody be able to crack a window or something.
Henderson is still in his interrogation chair, but he's not talking; all he's doing is twitching and panting and sweating. Burke calls to Kiefer in the observation room, saying Henderson should be talking by now. Kiefer hurries into the interrogation room, again demanding that Henderson talk. Henderson's only got one word: "Can't." Well, sure, he's probably in too much pain. Alarms start going off -- first the ones on the EKG monitors attached to Henderson, and then in CTU at large, and then on Kiefer's cell phone. Okay, the phone is just a regular ring, but he answers it anyway. It's Buchanan, saying that someone unauthorized has gotten in, but hasn't yet left. Hence the lockdown. Kiefer says he's on his way, and tells Burke to get Henderson to the clinic and stabilize him. "Don't let anyone near him," he adds on his way out. It's 6:48:33.
Commercials. For every war, there is a film that defines it. For the First Gulf War, that film is Three Kings. But Universal would like you to buy the Jarhead DVD anyway.
6:52:40. One of the splitscreen windows shows Fucked-up Accent Guy just standing there in the ventilation room, holding his timer. You know what would have been more useful to him than a timer? A gas mask. But back in the show proper, it's taken Kiefer the full five minutes to get from Holding to the main floor. Must have stopped off for a slash along the way. Over the blaring klaxons, Buchanan says they haven't yet found the intruder, but security's going room to room. Kiefer asks for a comm unit -- I didn't know he'd taken the other one out -- so he can join the search himself. He asks Audrey if Spawn is still up in Field Ops, and Audrey confirms that she's there with Barry. Kiefer wants her brought down to the floor and put under guard. I don't blame him. You just know she'll figure out a way to make this worse if she's left alone. Meanwhile, Buchanan and Edgar have narrowed down Fucked-up Accent Guy's location to a specific area, and Buchanan directs Kiefer to enter from one angle while he's sending a whole team to go in from another angle. Fucked-up Accent Guy had better hope he meets the team first. Edgar finds Fucked-up Accent Guy on CTU's surveillance video system, and Buchanan tells him to run the dude's mug through facial recognition software. Because if they call him by name he'll stop what he's doing? Buchanan asks where Carrie is, since he needs her for some technobabble. Edgar says that McGill fired her again. No, not really; he says Carrie went to check out a warning signal. Why that's not taken as a warning signal itself under the circumstances is anyone's guess, but Chloe dives over to Carrie's terminal to take care of whatever Buchanan wanted.
Fucked-up Accent Guy is sneaking around the hallway. A rifle-carrying Redshirt is not anywhere near as sneaky, and as he comes running around a corner, Fucked-up Accent Guy fells him with a home run clothesline that nearly flips him upside down. Fucked-up Accent Guy hauls the poor Redshirt to his feet at gunpoint. The closed captioning quotes him as saying, "You're going to help me get out of here." I'll have to take closed captioning's word for it.
Now Fucked-up Accent Guy and his fucked hostage are both being tracked by video, as Chloe reports that they're in the north corridor. Edgar picks this moment to tell Chloe that he's going to go check on Carrie. "Go ahead," she bitchfaces hatefully. The video shows Fucked-up Accent Guy pointing his gun at the surveillance camera, and in a flashy bit of editing, we're in the corridor with him when the camera gets blown away. They make it to an isolated exit somewhere, and Fucked-up Accent Guy forces the Redshirt to try to open the door with his thumbprint. When the door not only fails to open, but starts emitting its own alarm, Fucked-up Accent Guy pushes the Redshirt away and shoots him twice in the chest. And my God, it's about time. Thirty-six episodes since they put the supposedly dispensable guards in red and they just now get around to killing one off? Ah, well, there'll be plenty of catching up soon. Fucked-up Accent Guy steals the dead Redshirt's walkie-talkie and makes himself scarce.
Buchanan's still running the search from the floor, calling out Fucked-up Accent Guy's location into his headset. Kiefer's on his way at 6:55:03, gun drawn. The first person he finds is actually the dead Redshirt, and he quickly makes note of the missing radio. Knowing that Fucked-up Accent Guy is listening in, he tells Buchanan that their quarry is headed up to the roof via the stairwell. Buchanan doesn't get it, until Audrey waves him over to show him that Kiefer's making some kind of signal into the nearest surveillance camera to indicate that he's lying. Alas, it's not a big, broad vaudeville wink. Buchanan plays along and pretends to send Kiefer in the wrong direction, and Fucked-up Accent Guy smirks at his own cleverness, not knowing that Kiefer is actually closing in on him. He heads for the nearest door, and is just about to set off yet another alarm when Kiefer appears behind him and yells at him to freeze and drop the gun. Fucked-up Accent Guy obeys, because hey, he's got another weapon tucked into his waistband. Except when he whirls to try and shoot Kiefer, Kiefer shoots him first. Because it's dark and his target is partially obscured, the shots are fatal. He reports back to Buchanan. Spawn and Barry are arriving down on the floor as Buchanan asks Kiefer for an ID. But Kiefer's more interested in something else he found: the timer -- whose display I can't read -- and Fucked-up Accent Guy's GameBoy, which is still showing the schematic of CTU's ventilation system. It's not a big leap from there to the likelihood that this is a nerve gas attack. "Order an evacuation," Buchanan says to no one in particular, and then bellows out at the whole floor, "Code Six! Everybody out! Go, go!" Every screen in the place, from the big screen to desktop monitors, suddenly has a big red badge with a giant white "E" for evacuation on it, as extras and Redshirts start bailing. The speaking cast, for some reason, are all still standing there in the middle of the floor, including Spawn and Barry, just waiting for someone to tell them what to do. Audrey says into her headset that she has Spawn with her, and Kiefer says to keep it that way. Chloe's desk phone rings, and for some reason she answers it.
It's Edgar, calling from the ventilation room and asking what's going on. "Get out of the building, now!" Chloe snaps and hangs up. Not forgetting what he came for in the first place, Edgar calls out to Carrie, but all he finds is her corpse. Making sure she's dead (by which I don't mean that he shoots her), he turns and runs out of the room. Too bad he didn't see what Carrie saw, which is the missing fan grate. Which is even more conspicuous now that the gas canister is sitting there. As we watch, at 6:57:32, it gives a sinister little hum and the top opens up. Gas starts pouring out, where the fan whips it directly into the ventilation system. That can't be good.
Audrey leads Spawn and Barry towards the exits. And finally, we find a use for all these glass walls, because before they go through the door into the hallway, they see that the people outside in the hallways are already dying. Audrey realizes they can't get out that way, and runs with them back to Chloe's desk at the middle of the floor. Apparently the air ducts go from the outside in, which means the place where they are now is going to be safe the longest. Buchanan tells Chloe to auto-lock the outer doors, and asks her what rooms they can seal off. She yells that she's working on it. Kiefer runs in, telling Burke over his cell phone that they can't leave with Henderson yet, and then asks Chloe the same question Buchanan just asks. "Hold on!" she wails. Another second of tapping tells her that they can lock down "the Situation Room, the upper offices, and Clinic Isolation." Kiefer herds everyone towards the Sit Room, except for Buchanan, who announces, "I'll access comm from my office!" Nobody cares. Kiefer gets back on his phone to Burke and tells him to move Henderson to Isolation and "seal it off for bio." Hey, don't forget Tony! Wait, what am I saying? Tony will probably be fine if he can just get a hold of a filtered cigarette to breathe through. A woman collapses against the outer wall to the main floor, her hands squeaking against the glass as they slide down. Kiefer's the last one out on the floor, and he herds one last extra into the Sit Room before joining everyone inside. "Chloe, seal it. Seal all the rooms." I'm not too impressed by that one-inch gap between the double glass doors to the Situation Room, but the rubberized seal that comes down from the ceiling when Chloe enters a command on her laptop is rather reassuring. And then metal shutters roll down, covering the glass walls along the side of the room. The glass door is still uncovered, though, as a desperate but slow woman fetches up against them and begs for admittance. Barry tells Kiefer to let her in, but Kiefer tells her, "We can't break the seal. You have to find another exit out of the building. Hurry! Go!" She runs off like she's not dead already. Chloe confirms that the rest of the designated rooms are sealed.
Burke wheels Henderson into the clinic on a gurney. The suspect is lying stiffly with his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Perhaps he's decided to start answering Kiefer's questions in the form of charades. Tony's nowhere in sight.
Sealed up in his office, Buchanan's on the phone, trying to ignore the dying woman who's squeaking down his glass outer wall. In the final split-screen, more people die all over the building, gas continues coming out of the canister, Henderson's still in the clinic, and so is Tony. I guess maybe the whole clinic got sealed off.
Down in the Situation Room, one last woman gives her death-squeak down the wall. Kiefer tells everyone to stay calm; "There's nothing we can do for her now." They're all trapped inside, and it's too late for anyone outside. So it's a tense little party in the room: Kiefer, Spawn, Barry, Audrey, Chloe, and a few extras, including at least one Redshirt. And Buchanan's safe in his office upstairs...McGill's in Holding, which has always been famously airtight...are we forgetting anyone? I guess Curtis didn't make it back in time for the attack, officially raising his luckiness quotient an entire order of magnitude for a Handsome Black Agent. Let's see, who else? That's everyone, right?
It's Audrey who looks out onto the floor and softly says, "Oh, no." Chloe turns and looks to see the heavyset figure jogging along towards them. "Oh my God," Kiefer breathes, stricken. It's Edgar, of course, and he's no doubt been able to resist the effects of the nerve gas for so long because of his outstanding physical condition. Chloe gets up and goes to the door. From out on the floor, Edgar desperately says her name. Chloe tries to answer, but no sound comes out. It's very Wrath of Khan. Edgar takes a step toward the Situation Room, but starts crumpling as the nerve gas hits him, and he collapses behind a desk. Everyone in the room looks devastated, even Barry and Spawn, who never met him. But it's Chloe who's more wrecked than anyone; how she twists her face like that without pressing it against the glass is beyond me. At least Edgar was spared the humiliation of making yet another death-squeak down the glass. All is silent, even the clock, as it ticks down to 7:00:00 right before my local newscast, where I learn...
Also dead? Kirby Puckett. Still.