Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Inn Fection
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.29.2004
Back at the Flu Bar, behind the Greg Brady beaded curtain, Kiefer is trying to get information from Faggy Amador. "I need to know who you are working for," says Kiefer -- a far more polite version of "who are you working for?" I guess it's a new, politer CTU. Like when you go into couples therapy and your boyfriend learns to say, "You need to take out the garbage," instead of "Take out the fucking garbage!" "Do what you want to me," says Amador. "I'm telling you nothing." Kiefer threatens to put him a room next door with the V-I-R-U-S. Amador doesn't flinch. Kiefer's phone rings. It's Chappelle, informing him that about the V-I-R-U-S being released into the Chandler Hotel and the other eleven unknown vials. Kiefer tells Chappelle that Amador isn't giving him any names. Chappelle orders Kiefer to bring Amador back to CTU and let Richards (or Johnson) loose on him. Kiefer reminds him of their previous experiences with Richards (and Johnson) and asks Chappelle to trust him. He's got a plan. Kiefer orders Amador against the wall. "Knees," says Kiefer, his lips close to Amador's left ear. Amador drops to his knees…and Kiefer handcuffs him to a really flimsy-looking radiator pipe. "I'll be right back," says Kiefer. Oh, and here's the keys to these handcuffs, Amador, just in case your wrists get sore and you want to go across the hall and get a Coke from the machine. Special Agent Charlie Brown -- virtually absent from tonight's episode -- shows Kiefer what they found in the incubation room. They discuss something about containing the V-I-R-U-S within the Chandler Hotel, but I have to confess that I have no idea what they are talking about.
Look who's back. It's Nicole Duncan from Health Services, who is supposed to be at the Inn Fection with those Hazmat suits, but it seems that she's still packing up the van. Her hair looks good, but I am seriously starting to see skull beneath her skin. She's beyond "rough" at this point. She's looking and sounding like Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy with a head cold after a coke-fueled night of sex with Michael Bergin, a carton of Parliaments, a slap fight with John-John, and a game of hide and seek in the rain-soaked streets of Tribeca with a dozen paparazzi. She's on the phone with Soul Patch, discussing strategy for containing the V-I-R-U-S and the mobile lab they're going to set up on site. Soul Patch casually mentions Bitchelle being inside the hotel, and Nicole is shocked. They hang up when Chappelle enters Soul Patch's office. They discuss the fact that no one can leave or enter Inn Fection and if anyone tries otherwise, CTU agents should be ordered to "shoot to kill."
Back at the lobby of Inn Fection, Gael, Bitchelle, and GayMattFromMelrose meet up. Gael confirms that he has just blocked off the exits, and Bitchelle asks Gay Matt to shut down the elevators. "It's that serious?" asks Gay Matt. Where have you been, Gay Matt? When leather-clad federal agents show up in your hotel and start handcuffing people to pipes, I'd say it's serious. And isn't there someone you could be hugging right now? Bitchelle explains that she's trying to prevent mass panic. Gay Matt argues -- astutely, I must admit -- that a shutdown of hotel operations will create said mass panic, and asks about cell phones. Bitchelle explains that they've put some sort of Whatever Technology block on everyone's cell phones but theirs. "Are we going to survive this?" asks Gay Matt from Melrose. "That's what we're here to insure," says Bitchelle…after a brief pause. Gael tells Gay Matt that they're relying on his "leadership." And by "leadership," I think they mean "cluelessness." Lastly, they ask him to shut down the fire alarm. For some Whatever Technology reason, according to Gay Matt, the fire alarm shutdown will take some time. He exits to make that happen. "I know that you wouldn't have been exposed to the V-I-R-U-S if it wasn't for me," says Bitchelle to Gael now that they are alone. "You didn't have us do anything we wouldn't have done on our own," says Gael. Yep, he's gonna die soon.