Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Inn Fection
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.29.2004
Back in Inn Fection, MiddleAgedElijahWood is in Gay Matt's office, demanding to know what's going on. Gay Matt feigns ignorance. "There are people outside this hotel with guns and every door I've tried is locked," says MiddleAgedElijahWood. Gay Matt stonewalls him -- geddit? -- and tells him to stay calm. In yet another slight massage of the "real time" format, MiddleAgedElijahWood is all of a sudden in the basement of Inn Fection, roaming around, looking for a way out.
Elsewhere inside Inn Fection, Gael gets a phone call. It's Bitchelle. By the way? Bitchelle should have her own video game a la Lara Croft. She's got that signature hair. Something about that single tendril of curly hair that falls perfectly across her face no matter what scene she's in. Bitchelle asks him how he's feeling. Gael responds that the bleeding "stops and starts" and that he feels weak. Bitchelle promises that a doctor will check him out as soon as NHS gets here -- in other words? As soon as hell freezes over. Gael tells Bitchelle to urge NHS to hurry. "You're going to have a hard time keeping people in the hotel once they wake up," he says, pausing to bend over and cough a lot. The camera pulls back to reveal MiddleAgedElijahWood hiding in the basement, listening to every word. MAEW pulls a fire alarm and finds a set of master keys…and a handgun. Bitchelle and Gael hear the alarm. Bitchelle tells him she'll call him back. Bitchelle runs up to the lobby and asks Gay Matt why the fire alarm went off. Gay Matt doesn't know. She demands that the lobby staff get ready to tell all the guests to stay in their rooms because it's a false alarm. "Everybody else, man the doors! Nobody gets out!" she says. The time is 4:36:45.
The time is 04:41:00 PM. Amador is still in the Amadorado, assuring Stephen Saunders that he's not being followed. Saunders tells him to park near the agreed-upon location and walk the rest of the way. "Look for a silver Ford," he says. "I'll need some cash to help me get out of the country," says Amador. "You'll have that as well," assures Saunders. Amador pouts and then hangs up. Back at CTU, Spawn tells Kiefer of Amador's location.
Inn Fection. In the basement, MAEW is still scurrying around looking for an exit. Meanwhile, upstairs, dozens of guests are filing into the lobby due to the fire alarm. Bitchelle is trying to assure them that it's a false alarm. It's not mass panic, but no one is going back to their rooms fast enough either. Bitchelle has to reassure one man that everything is okay. He's not buying it because the door is locked and he can't go outside. "What is going on?" he asks all James Woods-style. An annoying Asian woman wants to know why there are all these armed guards outside wearing gas masks. Bitchelle, thinking fast, tells everyone that there's a toxic substance outside, and that she didn't want anyone panicking and rushing outside. "You are safe as long as you stay inside the hotel," says Bitchelle. "But until we get a clean-up crew, it is not safe to go outside." "How long are we going to be here?" asks James Woods. ["It's 4:30 in the damn morning, James Woods. Where do you have be, the breakfast buffet?" -- Sars] "Why don't our phones work?" asks Annoying Asian Woman. Gay Matt interrupts Bitchelle to tell her about a fire door open elsewhere. Bitchelle rushes over and Gay Matt stays behind to calm the crowd down.